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Today's Featured Birth Story. Tricia didn't know she was pregnant:
My boyfriend and I were both juniors in high school. I was having terrible kidney problems and recurrent bladder infections. At the doctor's office, I was given medicine for bladder infections and was tested for other problems to try to find out what was wrong. I was given a routine blood test to rule out pregnancy and it came back negative. Two months later the infections were extremely bad and no medication seemed to be helping. My doctor suspected that my kidneys were failing, so I was referred to the hospital for further tests. At the hospital I was supposed to have a special x-ray done of my kidney so they could see what was going on. They did an x-ray of my stomach to locate my kidneys when I was told, "We can't give you this test today!" The doctor came in and showed me the x-ray and said, "That's a baby inside there." I just said, “Wwhhhhaaaaatttttt?” with amazement and shock. I'm not sure why the doctor felt she had to be so mean, but she responded with, "That's what happens when little boys and little girls have unprotected sex." That's how I found out I was pregnant.
My grandma had taken me to the hospital, so I came out to tell her that they couldn't do the test. I didn't tell her I was pregnant. Next, I went to see my mom and I told her I was pregnant and she got me an appointment for the doctor that day. I couldn't tell my boyfriend because he had a big football game that night. It was our cross-town rival, and I didn't want him to be distracted. At my doctor’s appointment the doctor said it was a very big baby and I was between five and six months pregnant. My first instinct was to get an abortion. I called the clinic and made an appointment. I had to wait a week. After the game that night, our team had lost; I called my boyfriend. He didn't feel like talking because he was so upset about losing the game. I spent that whole night not knowing what to do. The next day he came over and I told him. It was weird; we didn't talk and just sat there in silence. I told him that I had already called the abortion clinic, and if it was okay with him, that's what I was going to do. Right then, I felt like it was the only choice I had. I knew there was no way I could go through with this pregnancy. Mostly though, I was doing all of this while I was still in shock. My mother told my boyfriend that he would have to talk to his parents and then I would have to tell my dad. We decided to tell them after the abortion.
We drove three hours to the clinic. I was getting ready for the procedure when they did an ultrasound to see how far along I was. They said I was between eight and eight and a half months pregnant and too far along for them to be able to do the abortion. Now I'm really confused. The doctor said that it was only five months along……then this. We went home. I didn't know what to think. It all seemed impossible.
I carried the baby deep in my back. I didn't show at all. Once we learned that I was pregnant, we could tell because I was walking funny. Other than that, no one could tell I was pregnant. I also played basketball. There were only two weeks left in the season and there was no way I was telling the coach. I decided to just stick it out. Honestly, I didn't play that much anyway.
My mom made an appointment with the OB. I couldn't get in to see a doctor though. I could only see the midwife. We couldn't figure out when I had gotten pregnant. I didn't have my periods, but I never did when I was playing basketball. The midwife said I was probably seven to eight months pregnant, but she was just guessing. She also explained to me that my body just denied the pregnancy. If you don't know it, and you don't think it, then your body can deny it. I never felt anything but maybe I was denying the signs. This was probably the cause of all of my kidney problems.
I went home to act "normal." I didn't want to say anything until I started showing. My boyfriend told his parents and I told my dad. It was awkward. His parents were upset but understanding. I was terrified to talk to his parents. I felt like this was all my fault and that I had put my boyfriend into this situation. I felt so guilty. I was living with all of this stuff. I would wake up in the night and cry because I just didn't know what to do. My boyfriend had it bad too. He didn't talk to anyone, not his brother, not anyone. It was just the two of us trying to make sense of all of this and it wasn't working. We had also decided that since I HAD to have this baby, we were going to put it up for adoption. My boyfriend's mom was worried that I would change my mind. I knew I wouldn't. We were too young, and I just knew I couldn't do this.
Another thing that was making this all crazy was that I must have gotten pregnant before we even had sex. At one point we had tried to have sex and stopped, that must have been enough to get pregnant. So my pregnancy and when we had sex didn't match up. My boyfriend started to question me about that. To him, it must have looked like I had cheated. I assured him that I hadn't. He got over that quickly. I however, couldn't get over it. I felt like I was going crazy and didn't know what to think.
Two weeks after I found out I was pregnant; I had a Tuesday night basketball game. On Wednesday I started to get contractions, but I didn't know what they were. I just couldn't sleep. I went to school those two days but Friday was the worst. The baby had dropped so much that you could almost tell I was pregnant. I could hardly wear my regular clothes. I didn't know what was happening so I called my mom and asked her to bring me some Tylenol because I couldn't take it anymore. My mom made an appointment with the midwife for that night. It was the regional finals in football and I was planning on attending the game. My mother insisted that I keep the appointment with the midwife. So I missed the game.
At the appointment I tried to drink water so they could do the ultrasound. I was checked and they discovered I was dilated to 7cm. I had to call my mother and tell her that we were having the baby tonight. They were going to try to stop the contractions but it was probably too late. They gave me some medicine that really made me tired and weak. Unfortunately, it didn't stop my labor. My mom and my grandma came to the hospital. The doctor determined that I had been having contractions for three days but after my water broke it took only 15 minutes to have the baby. The baby was taken right away so I didn't get to see him at all. I really didn't want to because at that point we were still to give the baby up for adoption. It didn't bother me, and I really didn't know what was going on. I didn't feel any different, just tired. I was just not attached to the pregnancy. At midnight I saw my baby, Tyler. I really didn't know what to think. He was on oxygen and around two months premature. I went into early labor because of my bladder infection, an extreme amount of stress with everything that had happened over the previous 14 days. Just before the regional football game, my boyfriend's parents told him that I was in the hospital and that they were going to try to stop the labor. His mom found out after the game that she was a grandmother. No one could find my boyfriend to tell him but everyone else knew. It's a very small town. My boyfriend's brother had come home for the game. Before the game, he was told about the pregnancy. He then found out I had the baby after the game. It was even crazy on him.
The baby was on a table with a heating light and his head was under a tent with oxygen when all of the parents and my boyfriend saw him that first night. My boyfriend's parents said he looked like him when he was a baby. From that point on I think they started to change their mind about adoption. I think they felt a connection there. I think they knew before we did that we wanted to keep him.
Two or three nights after I had him my milk came in. My boobs were humongous, and I had to ask my mom what was happening. I just didn't know. I went back to school on Tuesday, four days after I delivered. I was so nervous to go back but my boyfriend was even more scared. I promised him that I wouldn't make him go through this by himself, so I went to school. There were a lot of stares and questions. I was there a half a day. I was fine but not really ready yet.
We were told by the doctor to keep coming to the hospital to visit Tyler. Even though he was healthy that could all change quickly since he was so small. Someone had to be there for him. We started going every night after school to see him (the hospital is an hour away.) At that point we were still contemplating adoption. We went to an adoption agency where we got counseling. Four weeks after we had him, we decided to keep him. My boyfriend and I talked about it. This had to be a mutual decision because I wasn't going to do this myself. We never told our parents that we made a decision; I think they just knew. When Tyler was big enough to come home he lived with my mom and me. A friend threw a huge baby shower for us.
It's been almost three years now and that whole two weeks seems like a blur. I can't remember all that happened. I don't even remember much of the labor. My boyfriend and I graduated from high school and are currently attending the same college. We are still together and living with our son in a small apartment.
**Tricia came onto the show to talk about her story. You can listen to her here: http://www.birthstoriesondemand.com/podcast/015-tricia-tells-us-her-i-didnt-know-i-was-pregnant-story-14.html