Mollie's Birth of Elijah and Rowan
Friday, March 2, 2012 at 12:36PM Mollie's Birth of Elijah and Rowan
Mollie's Birth of Elijah
Baby Elijah was born at The Greenhouse Birth Center. Check out their website here:
http://www.greenhousebirthcenter.com/
Elijah 12/01/2008
Elijah’s Birth
I woke up early on Nov. 30, 2008. My first thought was “I’m still pregnant… *groan*”. My due date had been Nov. 18-the day before my own birthday. The phone calls from sister, mother, and mother-in-law had been everyday occurrences for the last 2 weeks. I, myself, had been trying to be mentally prepared in early Nov. since I knew full term babies could come at 38 weeks. Now, I was mentally tired; and physically tired and sore and uncomfortable. I had enjoyed my pregnancy immensely, but now it was getting tiresome. I’d been having Braxton Hicks regularly since the first day of my third trimester. I woke up about 7am and needed to pee again. When I wiped, something felt really weird. On the toilet paper was a globby thing with red in it. “Oh, my gosh! I’m glad they warned us what the bloody show would look like” I thought. I told my husband, Chad, that I thought something was finally happening. I called GBC and Shelie called me back. I told her about the bloody show and that I was starting to feel mildly crampy. She said that it sure sounded like something was starting and to keep her posted. That whole day I felt fine except for mild cramp sensations (like I was about to start my period). One thing that surprised me was that the bloody show kept coming out the whole day! I finally called Shelie that evening and told her about it-she said it was normal. I went to bed that night a strange mix of anticipation, anxiety, excitement and relief that it was finally coming to an end.
The following morning, Monday Dec. 1, I woke up when Chad’s alarm went off at 5am. He asked how I felt and if I wanted him to stay home. Even though the offer was tempting, I didn’t feel any different. I told him to go to work but to call throughout the day and see what my progress was. He was taking 2 weeks off (unpaid) after the birth so I knew he needed to get all the hours he could. I woke up between 7 and 7:30am, restless. I never had an “energy surge”, but I also felt like I needed to be up and walking. When Chad called on his first break at 8am, I told him I felt pretty awake and alert. I also thought I could sense a slight pattern starting with the cramps. After we hung up, I called GBC to let them know what was going on. Kip called me back within a few minutes. She told me to eat and drink plenty and to get back to bed. The last advice I didn’t like very much-I wasn’t very comfortable when lying down. I did it anyway and managed to sleep another 1.5 hours, only waking up during contractions. When Chad called at 10am, I knew there was a definite pattern and I couldn’t stay in bed any longer. I kind of wanted him to come home, but he said if I would be o.k. another 1.5 hours, he’d call me on his lunch. I had been walking around the apartment doing little things and making sure I had everything in my labor bag. I was at the point by 10am that, during contractions, I had to lean on something, sway and moan. A couple of times I had the fleeting thought of whether the neighbors in our apartment complex could hear me. But by that point I didn’t really care. I was thankful that I didn’t have any back labor-that had been one of my fears. Chad called at 11:30am and I told him in no uncertain terms to come home now. I wanted him home and I felt it would be time to leave for the birth center in the very near future. I even had a couple contractions while on the phone. He came home 15 minutes later and I had gone back to bed to attempt to get a bit more rest. I started to get into a barely-awake state in between contractions. They were much more intense when lying down, but I needed to rest. I don’t remember much when Chad came into the bedroom, but at some point I asked him to start timing my contractions. He did and each contraction was longer and more intense than the last. They were not very far apart- maybe 4 to 7 minutes. After a particularly hard one, I asked him how long it was. He replied “Almost 2.5 minutes”. I had enough. “Call the birth center-I want to be there now.” While he packed up the food we were going to take I managed to get out of my robe and got dressed. Boy, I sure hated having clothes on! I double checked my labor bag list and, sure I had everything, put it next to the door. We left at 2:30pm and, at first, the ride was o.k. Until 5 minutes later when I had my first contraction in the car. I desperately wanted to get out of there. If I did I’d have to walk to Okemos (from Mason) and I wasn’t about to do that! I ended up having 7 contractions on the ride there and now have a grudge against Mt. Hope Ave. in Okemos-at least until the city fixes that road.
We arrived at the GBC at 3pm and I felt like running to the green room. I had a contraction right inside the door and had to lean on the back of the couch. I couldn’t sit very long but, once inside the green room, managed to sit long enough for Audra to take my blood pressure. As quick as I could, I tore those clothes off and got into my long beach cover-up t-shirt I had brought. It was the only shirt that was long enough to afford me some modesty and also was comfy. I knew I wanted to be in the tub eventually, but I didn’t feel a strong urge for it for about a hour or so. In the meantime, I walked around and Chad held me in different labor positions during the contractions. I hung from him, but sometimes from his neck facing him and sometimes him holding me under my arms and facing away from him. I never knew what I needed until I did the “wrong” position and had to switch to another immediately. After a while, I was feeling tired again and wanted to sit between contractions. I tried to sit in the rocker but that’s not what my body wanted! I hadn’t stood up so fast in my whole last month! Audra brought me the birthing ball and that’s just what I needed at that time. Pretty soon I felt like I wanted to be in that tub bad. The 10-15 minutes it took to fill seemed like forever. I had a sleep bra on under my shirt, so I left my shirt on the floor and got in as fast as I could. Ahhhhh, relief! I loved the feeling of the warm, comforting water and my contractions were not nearly so intense. I could still feel them, but I moaned much softer during them. Chad was so great! He made sure I drank enough water and held my hand. He helped me out of the tub, to the toilet and back. (That was the worst part-getting out of that tub. My contractions were so much harder out of the tub that I hurried as fast as I could to pee and get back in it!)
During one trip to the bathroom, I had a contraction on the toilet. It got more and more and more intense. It was all I could do to hang on to Chad and moan. At the climax I felt a sort of *pop* and release. It didn’t really hurt, but it surprised me. I screamed when it happened. My water broke into the toilet. When I realized what happened, I thought “Oh, how convenient”. When Chad told Audra, she said to not flush it-she needed to check it to make sure it looked normal. I got back in the tub, not knowing what was going to happen next but I trusted my body and the midwives. This happened roughly 2.5 hours after I got in the tub.
After my water broke, things really got serious. I don’t have many clear memories because my brain was soaked with all those wonderful endorphins. I remember looking into Chad’s eyes during some really intense contractions. He told me later how hard it was for him to see me go through that-he wanted to cry and take away the pain I was in. It never seemed painful the way we normally think of pain. It wasn’t bad-nothing was wrong. My body was birthing a baby and had to work hard to get him out. All the same, I also saw the love in his eyes; that he was with me no matter what and was proud of what I was accomplishing. Chad noticed I was sweating (I hadn’t noticed). He asked Audra for some cold cloths. She brought two and a small bowl of cold water. That was a wonderful feeling. Chad would wipe my face and leave the cloth on my head or over my eyes-always just what I needed. I remember some of my contractions being very close together, about 30 seconds apart and I wasn’t ready for them. Only later did I realize that it was transition. I remember being on the toilet and, while saying something to Chad, my voice sounded a little funny to me. It was a short while later that I realized my body had started pushing. I remember having to sit up in the tub with my contractions because my body was pushing now-I wasn’t doing anything on purpose yet. Chad helped me to sit up, supported me, and helped me to relax back into my semi-reclining position. A few times, during the harder contractions, my eyes sought out one of the midwives. By then Kip, Clarice, and Audra were in the room with me, knitting. Kip was the one in my direct line-of-site. She didn’t need to say anything-a couple times she gave me an encouraging smile. That’s all I needed from her. That was my reassurance that everything was normal-I was going through what countless other women had gone through to birth their babies and I was to be one among them. Her calmness helped to calm me and helped me in moments of doubt. I remember Clarice asking if she could check me to make sure the baby wasn’t stuck. I was worried at first, worried that her hand would make the contraction worse-I’d had no interest in having my dilation checked. However, after the following contraction I gave her my consent. She checked on the next one and told me he was moving down just fine. I remember looking down at my belly and noticing that where the bump of baby had been was now flat and the bump had moved down quite a bit. That was so exciting to see! I remember Kip suggesting that I get into a different position and that might help the baby come out sooner. I didn’t want to, but on the next contraction my body practically threw itself into that position (I went from semi-reclined to on my knees leaning over the side of the tub). I was able to cling to Chad and he could whisper encouragements to me. I was also able to look directly at the wall hanging in the green room. It reads “I am not afraid; I was born to do this-Joan of Arc”. That gave me new courage and determination during fleeting moments of self-doubt. I could never fully put into words what that meant to me during the hardest part of my labor. It almost brings me to grateful tears just thinking about it.
The active pushing was the hardest work I’ve ever done. That part was painful and I sometimes got carried away-the midwives had to remind me to take my break between contractions and to push with them. I had fleeting thoughts of “Just cut the kid out” a couple times, but then my rational mind came back (in between contractions) and I knew I didn’t really want that. I’m sure I made Chad temporarily deaf in his right ear, but he didn’t complain. I had a feeling I was going to be fairly vocal during labor, but while actively pushing I even surprised myself. At one point, I remember yelling “Get out!” to the baby (Chad told me later that everyone smiled at each other when I yelled that). Most of the time, I yelled for God. It was my way of asking for His help and strength. I also remember thinking “It really does feel like I’m taking the biggest crap in the world” but it didn’t console me much. Clarice was the midwife watching for the baby and she encouraged me to reach down and touch. I never felt his head when it was actually out, but I did feel down there once and felt the bulge when his head was close to being out. Frankly, I just wanted to be done with the business of birthing and hold my baby already! The pressure kept building and when I couldn’t take it anymore, Clarice said “The head’s out! O.k., shoulders next. You’re almost done”. I don’t remember a “ring of fire” so much (probably because of the water). I do remember feeling myself stretch and stretch; I was a little scared that I would tear but I couldn’t stop pushing. I felt his little body slip and all of a sudden, relief flooded me-the baby was out! I felt his little leg against mine and the umbilical cord brush past me. I scooped him up out of the water and sat back. His eyes were wide open, taking in the sudden change of environment. There’s a picture that Audra took (she was our labor photographer) of me holding him under water and his eyes open! He didn’t cry or wail, just looked at us as we looked at him. He did protest when Clarice suctioned his mouth, but that was it. I couldn’t believe it. My mind couldn’t wrap itself around the fact that the work was done and here was my baby! I just stared at him, trying to take it all in. It felt like I was in a dream, waiting to wake up. Then I looked at Chad. It was a moment I’ll always remember. Even though we’d found out our baby’s gender, I checked anyway. And sure enough, we had ourselves a little boy-Elijah David. After he was born, it was like a switch had been flipped. I felt calm, happy, hungry, and couldn’t stop looking at my son and my husband. Chad cut the cord after I’d pushed the placenta out (they tell you that’s the third stage of labor but it felt more like an afterthought). He didn’t think he’d want to cut the cord, but he didn’t have a problem when they asked. Elijah was born at 9:08pm. Total labor: 13.5 hrs.
I hated to get out of that tub, but it had turned really red and the baby needed to be warmed up and dried off. When in bed, I shook like I do when I’m very cold-the midwives said that was normal. The warm sheets were so great! After a little while, they had Chad help me to the bathroom where I fainted on the toilet. It really scared Chad and I don’t really remember being helped back into bed. I’ve never fainted before and it felt like I simply went to sleep. After about 3 glasses of juice and some dried apples I started to feel a bit better. Chad watched me until color came back into my face. I ended up with a second degree tear and had to be sewn up. That was not fun! It was worse than my labor! Chad held Elijah while Clarice did her thing and I sure wished I could’ve switched places with him. After a while, the midwives weighed and measured him, but all on the bed. He was never taken from us-if I didn’t have him then Chad did. He latched right on and nursed about 5 minutes. We had the first 2 hours with him while my family was busy making my supper of choice-potato soup. We had brought the ingredients and everyone set to work while they waited. Finally, I gave Chad the o.k. to let everyone in. I was o.k. with everyone taking their turn holding him, but I didn’t let him out of my sight. It was a relief when I had him back in my arms. My best friend, Kacie, was the last to leave at 1:30am. Then, we settled in for the night. It was snowing and the roads were really bad. We snuggled into bed with our hours-old son. Audra was in the next room if we needed anything. It was the perfect start to our baby’s life and I will be back for our other children. I could not imagine giving birth anywhere else. Greenhouse Birth Center was an answer to my prayers.
Though the birth was perfect, the following day was one of the worst I’ve experienced. When Clarice examined Elijah, she found he was breathing very fast-about 100 bpm instead of 30-60 bpm. We ended up taking him to a hospital ER (the most traumatic experience for us) and he spent 2 weeks in the NICU. He had somehow caught pneumonia and needed IV fluids for 5 days until his breathing was under control. He was almost a week old before he could try to nurse again. He was also on antibiotics for 10 days. As hard as that experience was, I’m grateful that my husband was with me; I leaned on him the most. We were able to stay at Ronald McDonald House for the duration of Elijah’s hospital stay. What a Godsend! Kip also asked to have regular reports and kept our situation in their hearts. I was able to have my placenta encapsulated and they got it to us the very next day (Wed). Those pills made such a huge difference; I could tell after one dose. Even though this was a scary experience, we are forever thankful to God that we still have our little boy. He’s such a precious gift. My mom asked me, because of all we went through, if I’d still want to be at GBC for my next child. I told her “Absolutely!” We were told by doctors that they see babies with pneumonia every couple weeks. If this was to happen anyway, I would much rather have had the gentle, peaceful birth experience to welcome our baby into the world. The bonding we had in the first 12 hours could never be duplicated in a hospital setting. Today, at 5 months old, Elijah is a thriving, active, laughing little boy who is forever curious about the world.
Mollie's Birth of Rowan
Baby Rowan was born at The Greenhouse Birth Center. Check out their website here:
http://www.greenhousebirthcenter.com/
Rowan’s Birth Story
My little Rowan, where to start?
After your brother, Elijah, turned a year old I felt ready (impatient) to become pregnant again. I had enjoyed his pregnancy immensely and he had a wonderful birth at Greenhouse Birth Center (see Elijah’s birth story). Twelve hours after he was born, he started breathing too fast. The end result of this was spending our first two weeks as parents with him in Sparrow’s NICU, not getting to nurse him again until he was five days old, and getting to come home with him at 13 days old. In hindsight, he didn’t need to be there at all, but we were new to this and had NO idea what awaited us at the hospital. We both felt the scars on our hearts and longing for healing was a big reason I wanted to have another baby at GBC-to prove to myself I could have a baby and get to take him/her right home minus the emotional trauma. This wasn’t the only reason, but it was in the forefront of my mind.
I was very impatient for my body to start cooperating with my desires and the following months were hard for me emotionally and mentally. I found great support and understanding on GBC’s village community boards and was able to ask questions/vent frustrations on there. To our delight, I got a positive pregnancy test in early August.
Your brother is still nursing some and that was one of my first signs of pregnancy-it hurt! I thought maybe more teeth were coming in, but after a week of it hurting so bad I thought it must be something else. That, and I started feeling nauseous on and off throughout the day. All this before I could take a test. The test simply confirmed what I was suspecting.
Your pregnancy was normal and was similar to Elijah’s in some ways; quite different in others. My nausea was about the same, though it was about a week or two shorter in duration, but this time I had a toddler to watch and couldn’t sleep half the day away! Thankfully, your brother seemed to have some sympathy for me and, for the most part, would stay on the floor playing or we would read books together. I felt you move for the first time at about 15 weeks. This was very different as I hadn’t felt Elijah move until about 21-22 weeks. His placenta had been on the front of my uterus whereas your's was on the back. This also resulted in us literally seeing you move/squirm/kick/roll much more than we had with Elijah. There were times my belly seemed to dance around and held all three of us mesmerized. Your movements were different too: Elijah was always kicking around and, later on, loved to stretch out my right ribcage often. You kicked around some, but not nearly so much or so forcefully, and seemed more intent on trying to push yourself out through my uterine wall. I joked that Baby wanted to see if being born by osmosis was possible. The level of activity was the same though. At our ultrasound, we decided to keep your gender a surprise and I’m so glad that we did! The scan showed us a very healthy, active little baby but Elijah wasn’t too interested with what was on the screen. I received chiropractic care during your pregnancy and that helped so much with the lower back/sacrum/pelvic pain I’d had with your brother. Dr. Kyle and Dr. Rachel have become wonderful friends, as well as being fellow GBC alumni. Elijah loved coming with me to my appointments and you often squirmed/kicked while I lay on their pregnancy pillow getting “put back together”. Elijah has been adjusted three times (and loved it after the first time) and you will be having your first adjustment in a couple of days!
Despite wanting to be pregnant again so badly, lots of things were going on in our lives that took my attention away from you. We had expected to move from our apartment in October and didn’t move until early December. This meant we literally lived out of boxes (taking up half the living room) for about six weeks. Thank goodness for sidewalks and walking in a safe neighborhood! Daddy took a break from college and that ended up being extended a bit (he’s back now, starting his term a couple of weeks before you were born). Issues with family, bills, and a car accident in November when I was about 4.5 months pregnant all were added to the mix. The day after the accident your Grandma Debbie took me to GBC to have a listen to your heartbeat. We wanted to make sure you were okay too! Your heartbeat was good and strong and the ultrasound was in a couple of weeks. My prenatal appointments became sources of reassurance for me, but also where I could vent my stress over situations out of my control. Writing is also therapeutic for me and, when necessary, I’d write out the stressors in between my appointments. I also started getting nervous about being a mom of two. For whatever reason, my hang-up was on naptime. How was I going to get your brother down for a nap if you needed to nurse/were crying/needed me and, even if you weren’t, what do I do with you while I went through our nap routine (read, nurse, lay down and recite a poem)? I still had a couple of weeks to figure that out.
Towards the end, people would ask, “Aren’t you excited!?” To tell you the truth, I was fine having you where you were. You were much easier to take care of inside of me! I had you by my heart, but still had the one-on-one relationship with Elijah. I was fine with that! As my 3rd trimester was waning, I was getting very curious to see whether you were a boy or girl. See, this whole pregnancy I thought you felt like a girl like your brother felt like a boy to me, in utero. I really was fine with either gender, but comments people made re-affirmed my small inkling that you could be a female. Your daddy kept saying he’d love to have another boy, but a girl would be fine too. It was this thinking that helped me convince him to not find out your gender. I was obviously smaller in this pregnancy than with Elijah. I never got stretch marks (just some dots) and I could still tie my shoes and shave up until the very end! I only gained about 22lbs with you; with Elijah I gained 35lbs-40lbs. Sometimes it seemed like others were more excited than I was, but part of this was how draining it was taking care of a two year old while unpacking and being very pregnant, and the other part was that I was sick twice in the 3rd trimester. Having a stomach virus while having a baby kick your insides is not fun!
Ironically, I felt more anxious about your labor at about 31-32 weeks than at 37 weeks. I had some of the same fears to work through that I’d had when pregnant for Elijah, but this time I actually worked through them instead of pretending they weren’t there until the very end. I found some birth affirmations from the blog “Birth Without Fear”. Especially in the last weeks, I took to reading these, as well as GBC birth stories, most nights before bed. It helped me to have a few minutes to re-focus myself on your pregnancy. I knew having chiropractic care could shorten labor a bit, plus you being my second, but I was more anxious about what I couldn’t know: how would your labor be different from Elijah’s? I had a few labor dreams (which did next to nothing to reassure me) and I knew it wasn’t a guarantee that labor would be shorter-just a very good chance. I classify your brother’s labor as “just right”. It wasn’t overly long, but long enough for me to find a rhythm to it and to work with it. I slept through half of my early labor with him and the contractions were never painful to me. Noticeable, but manageable. Later on, they were intense and took all my focus, but still didn’t hurt me. Not until the last 20 minutes of pushing was there pain, yet most of that “pain” was simply the pressure that I couldn’t stand but had to! With this being my only experience, this is all I had to base my expectations on concerning your labor. I knew it’d be different, but I didn’t know how different! I became a little obsessed with reading the 2nd labor birth stories on GBC’s website and, for those siblings’ stories on there, comparing the two to get an idea what your labor may hold for me. As a side note to this, I never envied the women who had fast labors and told your daddy that I sure hoped yours wasn’t five hours-I thought that would be too quick and intense for me! I guess I expected/wanted it to be mostly like your brother’s labor, just with a shorter pushing stage. Ha!
I had two special “end of pregnancy” events that I did. One was a belly cast. We did one at 38.5 weeks but it didn’t turn out right. So, after getting more plaster, we did another one at 38 weeks 6 days and it turned out great! We weren’t able to do “professional” pregnancy pictures like we did before, so I was very happy to do this! The other event was a blessing ceremony when I was 39 weeks. I was very paranoid that you would come the week before and I wouldn’t be able to attend it! I even timed contractions for an hour one night to see how regular they were. They seemed a little too often, but were not regular and not getting stronger. I had a feeling you weren’t going to wait as long as Elijah did, but since he came at 41 weeks 6 days (by the pregnancy wheel) I just figured you’d come sometime before Easter. That’s all I told anybody: “By Easter” or “In April”. I was not going to get hung up on another EDD! The blessing was a wonderful time with other mothers/women that I think the world of: a great mix of family, church friends, and GBC friends that I’ve made over the last 2 years. Marcia put it on for me and we had fun planning it. Every woman brought a bead to make a labor necklace for me (two women who couldn’t come also gave me beads). They told me the significance of each bead and then shared stories/advice for surviving the first two weeks at home. Each woman was also given a “labor candle”. We put together a phone tree and, when they got the call I was in labor, they were to light the candle and have it burning until you had arrived. It was a nice, relaxing time that was very encouraging to me.
I started noticing “signs” the week before you were born that my time was coming near. Two days after the blessing (Tuesday) I started to feel lots of pressure-like I had a mini grapefruit to have to walk with/get up around in my pelvis. Starting mid-week, my body started cleaning itself out. I’d also had this a couple days before Elijah’s labor started. I took it as an omen that we would be meeting you soon! On Thursday, I had a prenatal appointment. Clarice commented that you were “right down in there”. I told her I’d wondered if you had dropped, based on the pressure and number of bathroom runs I was making. She said it sure felt like it to her. I was still envisioning being this uncomfortable for at least another week. The next day, I had an adjustment with Dr. Kyle at 6pm. I told her how uncomfortable I was and I “just want this baby out of me!” A few minutes later, after being adjusted, she told me my hips had been out of place, but in a completely different way. Instead of being up and forward, which I had been this whole pregnancy and is pretty common, my hips were rotated in opposite directions. She told me that, often, when she adjusts a woman who presents like I did, the next 24 hours tend to be “eventful”. I’m glad she gave me the warning! It did give me some anxiety but helped me to follow my instincts in the next few hours instead of putting off our last minute preparations. We went to a fish fry for dinner. It’s held at a catholic church in Mason during Lent. We were meeting a friend there and told him about Kyle’s comment. We had plans to get together at his apartment the next day, with a couple other friends, and felt he needed some fair warning. But even with that, I expected to start labor at his apartment (my parents were going to watch Elijah) and our meet time was at 3pm.
We came home for a minute and then intended to go to Meijer for our last minute stuff. Daddy was very tired and started doing other things besides getting ready to go out again. He was tired but I was getting frustrated. What if labor started during the night? We needed beads for me to string my labor necklace, drinks/snacks to finish out my labor bag, and the disposable pads to have on the bed after you had been born. Finally I said, “I’m going to the store. Are you driving me or am I driving myself?” (Daddy is very protective when I’m pregnant and, especially since the car accident, didn’t want me driving much for fear of another accident and how the steering wheel might hurt you). He, also not happy, got up and we grabbed Elijah and left. The Mason Meijer is being remodeled inside and, due to that, their bead section is gone! We got our other things, chatted with a couple employees we know, and headed back home. I found a necklace my sister had made for me years ago and it seemed like the beads on it, once it was deconstructed, would do nicely! Daddy and I put Elijah to bed and, once they both were asleep, I set to making my labor necklace. I started about 11:15pm and it took close to an hour to complete. The white beads I re-used are very small and were buggers to re-string. I simply could not go to bed until it was completed. After that, I read a couple of birth stories (Jordan’s and Lola’s). Both mothers were at my blessing and for some reason I felt that I needed to read their particular stories before bed. I got to bed about 12:30am (which Shelie had warned us not to do!).
At about 3:30am, I woke up to a “different” contraction-like a really strong toning contraction. I went to the bathroom and had a bit of clear mucus come out. I knew that sign (I had seen my bloody show the day before Elijah was born). I didn’t know if the new type of contraction would continue or not, but I knew if it did that I needed my sleep! I’d had a couple episodes of “strong Braxton-Hicks” contractions in the days before and wasn’t sure if this was more of the same or not. I think I got up one other time for the bathroom and had more of the mucus come out. At 7am, I got up again for the bathroom, had more mucus plus a “not fun” contraction that felt quite crampy, a bit painful, and low. I went back to bed and, whispering above Elijah’s head, tried to wake Daddy up to let him know. After a couple minutes, I got him to register the word “labor”. He heard that, opened his eyes, and whispered “What!?” I repeated “I think I’m in early labor.” We started making our plans for the morning, chiefly me telling him what/how I needed him to care for Elijah and get him ready so that I could concentrate on how this labor would go. While in bed, and on the toilet, the contractions kind of hurt, were very low, and felt like very strong cramps. I thought they hurt because I was sitting/laying down and couldn’t move at that exact moment. A little later, while downstairs and Daddy getting breakfast ready, I was starting the first round of “early labor” calls. By the time I called Grandma Debbie (after I’d already called GBC and Bethany Ritter, a friend to be with me during labor) it was 8:20am. At that point I was managing the contractions by moving/swaying with them. I was trying to keep track of them with Daddy’s newly acquired “Contraction Timer” app on his iPod. But, when I was doing that consistently, I thought I was doing it wrong. They couldn’t be five minutes apart, could they? Grandma Debbie and I talked about 15 minutes, I drank the smoothie I’d asked Daddy to make for my “labor breakfast” (which made me feel nauseous a little later), and then went upstairs to shower and get dressed. The hot water felt good on my sacrum and lower belly. I was having contractions in the shower but the water helped me through them. By the time I was dressed, it was about 9:15am. Daddy was talking with Grandma Peggy and talked about 15 minutes total. When I had got out of the shower, I called down to him to tell him to get himself and Eli in the shower so we could get going soon. Thinking we had “lots of time”, he somewhat ignored me and finished his conversation. He was trying to explain to her that we didn’t want anyone at GBC waiting while I was in labor and that slightly offended her. While they were in the shower, the contractions suddenly hurt more and I had to vocalize through a couple. The ones I had to moan through weren’t right in a row and I started thinking that maybe I didn’t remember Elijah’s labor as well as I had thought. Were the contractions this painful and I just hadn’t known better before? What was going on here? I felt like I could hardly keep “on top of things” a few times and was very thankful for the “less painful” contractions I had every so often. After I had vocalized through the second contraction, I poked my head into the bathroom (they had been in the shower less than 10 minutes) and told Daddy, “I’ve had to vocalize through a couple of contractions now. You need to hurry.” That had been my “signpost” that we needed to leave for GBC. They got out, Daddy dressed Elijah and got him ready, then proceeded to shave. I poked my head in again and said “What are you doing!?” He replied “I have to look good for my daughter.” He did shave quickly though. I called Grandma Debbie and said we were dropping off Elijah in the next few minutes. She had told me before that they’d be out to breakfast but she’d keep her cell phone on her. When I called this time, they hadn’t left for breakfast yet!
Daddy took Elijah out to the car and I followed, listening to my labor music on the ipod. I had to lean over the car’s hood for a contraction and wondered, briefly, if the neighbors in our townhouse complex were watching me. I waited to get into the car-I wanted to make sure Daddy had grabbed everything. Then I got in the car but didn’t want to sit down. I got on my knees on the floor and had another contraction leaning on the seat. Daddy insisted that he wasn’t driving until I was sitting and buckled in. Thankfully, we live 1 mile from my parents and made it to their house before the next contraction. We arrived at 10:30am. This one I had outside, while Daddy took Eli into the garage to meet Grandma Debbie. Again, I used the car’s hood, swaying, and moaning. I went into the garage to chat with her a minute and she explained plans to take Elijah to breakfast with them and then come back to the house. She saw me have one or two contractions. She tried to be encouraging by saying, “Remember, your body was made to do this!” However, Daddy said that while I was having the contraction she looked tense and a little scared. She never saw me during Elijah’s labor, so I think she wasn’t sure how to expect me to act.
We got back in the car at about 10:40am and, intending to go to GBC (instead of to church first, for a minute, to pick up my last bead for my necklace) Daddy called and left a message with the answering service. Clarice called back and asked to talk to me. When I told her our plans she said “Sweetie, you have to give me time to get there. I’m still at home and need to get dressed.” I said we were thinking of stopping by our church for a minute and would do that, giving her some extra time to get there. I had 2 contractions during this drive of about 10-15 minutes. I couldn’t move with them, and they hurt so much! I put all my energy into vocalizing and, with the second one, Daddy said it made him want to cry to listen to me. I guess I sounded different than I had with Elijah. I was really experiencing pain this time and it must’ve come out through my sounds. In between the contractions, I fully relaxed and almost fell asleep. As we pulled off the road and into the parking lot, another contraction started. Daddy stopped the car right there so I could jump out. He came around the car and let me hang off him in the same way I did during Elijah’s labor. The car hood wasn’t helping anymore! We jumped back into the car to drive up to the church building.
During the last contraction, I had felt like I almost peed my pants. Thinking maybe that's why they hurt so bad, I rushed to the bathroom and passed a couple friends coming out. There was a women’s craft day going on plus music practice for church the next day plus (I think) dance practice going on for Easter! One of the women asked if I was in labor and I said “Yep!” as I rushed into a stall. I felt so much better after emptying my bladder, but then had a contraction before I could get up! Once it was over (with me moaning loudly through it) one of the women asked from her stall if I was okay. I said, “Yeah, just having a contraction.” I came out and, at the same time, Bethany came out from the gym! She was still there! Chad had planned to call her when we arrived at GBC. She joked, “You could’ve just called me. You didn’t have to come pick me up.” I had a contraction and had to lean over a counter. The pastor’s wife, Donna, was there and rubbed my back through it. She also was asking if I wanted her to help me count my breaths/help with breathing. I was breathing, just also moaning with it. I was unable to tell her I didn’t know about “counting breaths” and just waved my hand at her. A few other women had come out from the craft day to come chat. One is currently pregnant with her third and has never seen a natural birth or a woman in the middle of having one. I kind of scared her! After that second one, Donna said that it had only been a minute or two since the previous one and maybe we should get going. Bethany was calling her husband to let him know she was going with us and I kind of wanted to chat. But, the contractions kept interrupting me! I had two more, hanging off of Daddy, and with the last one I felt some pressure in my butt. I went to the bathroom one more time, didn’t need to pee, and off we went. I had one more contraction outside before getting in the car and told Daddy to “hurry!” We left church at about 11:15am.
We got to GBC at 11:25am. Clarice was holding the birth center door open for us, but I had to wait in the car until a contraction ended. While walking up to her I intended to say hi, but instead grabbed her and moaned my way through another one, almost crying because this was ridiculous! I made it to the kitchen and had another contraction over the table. All of these were very painful and I just wanted them to stop! We got into the green room where the tub was over half full (and I was still planning on using it!) and candles were lit. I took the iPod off, and while having another contraction hanging off of Daddy, Clarice checked your heartbeat. It was in the 130’s. I told her I thought I felt you move down. She said, based on where the heartbeat was, you were moving down. I wanted to go to the bathroom (thinking I might poop in the tub and not wanting to!) and asked Daddy to bring me my nursing tank top to wear in the tub. I was on the toilet and began ripping my clothes off to quickly change! I started having another contraction as I was taking off my labor necklace. Thankfully, my clothes were right there to throw it on. I started moaning through it. I felt more pressure and was thinking over and over, “I’m not ready for this!!” I said that outloud once; I was scared because I knew I was beginning to push already, couldn’t control it, and didn’t have the endorphins for a pain buffer! Daddy heard me say that and came into the bathroom right away. I grabbed his shirt and continued moaning quite loudly. He made me look him in the eyes (I was shaking from the adrenaline and being afraid of everything going so fast) and he told me, “You can do this!!” He said he could see a change in my expression from him saying that--something akin to going from wide-eyed fear to determined birth warrior--and was amazed at the power those few words seemed to have. The contraction ended with a catch in my voice, somewhat like a grunt. Clarice came at about a run and had her hand between my legs, just in case you came right that moment! She was still the only midwife there and asked Bethany to get her the blankets and the cake pan of birth supplies that she would need very shortly! Another contraction started and my body was pushing--my moan turned into a scream. I remember seeing a little spurt of fluid between my legs and said that I thought it had been my water bag. I remember thinking, “That wasn’t very much. Shouldn’t there be more?” I literally felt you come down my birth canal and, all within one push, your head came down, crowned, was born and you started to try to cry. To do this, I’d grabbed onto Daddy’s belt and was pulling down. He was rubbing my back (he later said he was doing that because he didn’t know what else to do for me!). I stood up when I felt you moving through me and my legs were shaking horribly. I don’t remember it, but Daddy said it seemed like I almost fell down a couple times, because the shaking was so bad, so he was supporting me by literally holding me up by my hips. My bottom half was standing, but I was bent over because I was still hanging on to his belt/pants/shirt and didn’t have the presence of mind to let go and stand up all the way. When your head was born, part of me wanted to continue pushing after the contraction was done. I had done that with Elijah’s birth and believe that was part of the reason I tore with him. Clarice reminded me to breathe and I was taking very deep, very rapid breaths to try to keep from pushing. I remember taking at least three breaths like that, but it was probably a few more before my body pushed again. This time, I felt your shoulders come out, then the rest of your body move down and out of my body. I screamed you out, each body part seeming to raise the octave of my voice. Daddy has maintained that I scared the crap out of him with those screams! He said he’s never heard a noise like that come out of me and he was worried something was wrong. He looked over at Bethany, who was in the bathroom doorway, and said she was very reassuring and was an emotional support to him in that moment. I was kind of looking down while you were being born and saw a lot fluid come out and splash on the floor. I heard Daddy say, “It’s a BOY!?” and Clarice was handing me my crying baby and helping me to sit on the toilet. It was 11:35am; ten minutes after we arrived! Daddy was able to watch you being born. When I looked at him, he was crying and smiling at me. I was in shock that you were here so quickly! The fluid ended up soaking all my clothes that were strewn on the floor. The postpartum doula washed and dried them for me later.
I couldn’t believe you were here. I couldn’t quite take in that we had another boy! It was a different feeling than when Elijah was born. My labor had been short enough that I had never reached “Labor Land” and didn’t have that dream-like blissed-out feeling that I had with Elijah. This was more like adrenaline/shock/been-on-a-roller-coaster-that-went-straight-down-for-a-mile-type feeling. I looked at Bethany with disbelief that all this had really happened. She had a huge smile on her face and said, “You did it!” Even though no pictures could be taken of your birth, Daddy took a video right after Clarice handed you to me. You continued to cry for a minute or so. It took a few minutes before I could stand up to move to the bed and Clarice and Daddy had to support me a bit. I think I said something along the lines of, “Never thought I’d have a baby on the toilet!” I was helped into bed, looked over at the tub, and said, “So much for that!” Clarice replied, “You still had a water birth, just all the water came out after the baby!”
Audra came in about ten minutes later, shocked that I was in bed with a baby already. She said she had left as soon as she had received the call from Clarice. Kendra, the newest midwife on staff, came a little while later. She was also shocked that she would be attending me postpartum instead of during labor. You latched right on and nursed for two hours. The placenta was born during this time (quite a bit smaller than Elijah’s had been). We tried waiting for you to be done nursing, but that wasn’t happening! Clarice finally gave the go ahead and Daddy cut the cord about 1.5 hours after your birth. Bethany did us the huge favor of starting the phone tree and calling our families to let them know you were here. Everyone was pretty surprised! Some of the women told me later that they received both messages at the same time when they checked their voicemail. The after-pains were kind of painful, enough so that I was very grateful for the Motrin I was given! I tore again (because you came so fast) and had to be sewn up. I almost decided not to, because of how much I remember it hurting before. After debating it and hearing my timeline for healing without stitches, I decided to get sewn up anyway. Clarice saw how nervous I was about it (and she’d experienced this same nervousness of mine with regards to blood draws) so she gave me a couple doses of a homeopathic to help relax me plus extra spray-on anesthetic plus extra lidocaine. Daddy held you and Bethany let me hold her hand. While Clarice and Kendra were getting things ready, Bethany offered to pray with me beforehand and I really appreciated that. Parts of it hurt, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as I remember Elijah’s being. There were even parts of it I carried on a bit of conversation. We picked out your hat and we all took guesses as to your weight. Bethany guessed 7lbs 10oz because that was her son’s size and she thought you seemed about the same. I guessed 7lbs 12oz, even though I was thinking more like 7.5lbs. Daddy guessed 8lbs. We could tell you were smaller than Elijah had been and he’d weighed 8lbs 4oz. Clarice guessed 7lbs even. You were 7lbs 2oz; over a pound less than big brother! The newborn exam was conducted while Bethany was out getting food to make my after labor meal-turkey wraps with pineapple and pretzels on the side. It’s amazing that no matter what you eat after having a baby, it’s always the most delicious food you’ve ever had! Throughout all this, you remained nameless. We got our placenta explanation (that was really cool!) and I had the midwives save it for Jaime to encapsulate. Bethany went home to her family after a few hours (and many congratulations!) and I took my herbal bath. We debated between our boy names. I very much like Thomas, which would be after my mother’s father, but you just didn’t look like a “Tommy”. As I looked at you over those hours, “Rowan” is what kept going through my head. Thomas and Rowan had been our top two. We went through the others and nothing else seemed to fit. We agreed that you looked like a Rowan and, at six hours old, you finally became Rowan Christopher. We then called my family to bring Elijah to meet you. I was a little nervous about how he’d react, but he did great. He wanted to play in the tub, then with the train table, but finally Daddy just plopped him on the bed to see “baby”. He was quite taken with you right away and gave you kisses and hugs after a little while. Even now, he loves lying next to you on the bed, petting your head, and wanting to hold your hand. He loves being able to nurse at the same time as you.
I’m so thankful to the GBC for the environment and care they provide. We personally knew all who attended your birth and you were born in the same room as your brother. I can’t imagine giving birth anywhere else. Our family has been born here…gently.
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