Vanessa's Birth of Lola

Vanessa's Birth of Lola

This is a Hypnobabies birth story! 

http://www.Hypnobabiesblog.org

Most people do not know how long we waited for your arrival, but it was much longer than the standard nine months. After an ectopic pregnancy in 2005, I was left with only one uterine tube, which could have led to fertility issues. But we were expecting Autumn within a few months, so it did not seem to be impacting us. In 2009, I found out I was pregnant just a few months after we had decided we wanted another child. I was delighted, but a few days later found out that I was again having an ectopic pregnancy that had to be ended with Methotrexate. I was devastated and my sadness was compounded by the news that future pregnancies would likely end the same way. The doctor told me that my remaining tube was probably blocked and if we wanted another child our only option was in vitro fertilization. We do not have private insurance and since IVF was financially impossible, I gave up hope of a third child and decided to go back to school.

Dear Lola, imagine my surprise (and fear) that Friday nearly three years later, when looking at my calendar, I realized that I was “late.” Imagine my delight (and terror) when the second pink line appeared after I peed on “the stick”. I kept you, my delicious secret, for about a week, before telling your dad. And we waited another month, until we could see you growing safely in my uterus via ultrasound, until we told Mimi and Pap (then the rest of the world on Facebook.)

So you are very special to us: A wish granted unexpectedly and a joy unlooked for.

After an uneventful, complication-free, healthy pregnancy I headed into the weekend before I reached 37 weeks with the expectation of at least another week or two of pregnancy. In retrospect, I did a lot of nesting that weekend. I bought several last-minute baby items, paid all our bills, filed papers, made a to-do list and a number of appointments.

On Monday, April 30 I woke at 4 a.m. with a dreadful feeling about my appointment with the backup obstetricians that I had scheduled for May 1. The head doctor had called me several time the week before, wanting me to come in a sign yet another liability waiver for my homebirth plans. It was starting to wear on me and I was concerned about what awaited me at the clinic. I woke up Hal and cried to him because I felt that I was being sucked into the hospital agenda, that I would not go into my birthing time naturally or would go beyond 42 weeks. He calmed me down and I slept for several hours, missing my usual 6 a.m. 3-mile walk.

The girls and I enjoyed our first day off from homeschooling. We shopped at the Girl Scout Council store and bought some books for next year and patches. The security guard teased me about when my baby was coming and I wanted to have a Braxton Hicks in front of him to really scare him, but instead we smiles and went on our way. Our next stop was Trader Joe’s for our weekly groceries. I noticed that I was having fairly frequent practice waves and so I used my “Peace” Hypnobabies cue as I drove. Once at TJs, I was having to go to the bathroom with nearly every wave. So we finished shopping fast and I decided to skip my planned stop at Whole Food and ask my mom to pick up the gluten-free pizza crusts instead. I wanted to get home to eat, cook dinner and relax in case “this was it.”

After cooking, I had a sudden burst of energy, so I decided to channel it into my usual walk. The girls went with me for awhile, but mostly I was on my own, listening to my Hypnobabies Pregnancy Affirmations. A neighbor who recently had a baby, teased me about trying to get the baby out. At this point, I was still in denial that the baby could be coming sooner than later.

By the time I got home, Hal was there with the girls and we sat down to eat dinner together. I did not have much of an appetite for the stew and sitting on the hard kitchen chair was not comfortable. During dinner, I started using my lightswitch actively, even though I thought I was still have practice waves. I figured that if they turned real that I would be very relaxed from practicing and if they stopped, I would have gotten a lot of practice.

Finally, I felt like laying down, so I relaxed on the couch while Hal took care of the girls’ bedtime routine. They asked me to join them in Madeline’s room for bedtime stories, but I could not find a comfortable position to sit in, so I ended up wandering around her room impatiently until it was time to turn the lights off. 

I brought down the big laundry basket of baby clothes and homebirth supplies. Hal looked surprised, but I insisted that it did not mean a thing- I was 37 weeks and felt it was important to have them out now. He suggested that I lay on the couch and relax and time some pressure waves while he worked on his final paper for his degree. It was due on Friday and both of us thought he had time to finish it before the baby would be here. But when I timed four waves, I found that they were 2-3 minutes apart and lasting 45-60 seconds. Hal exclaimed, “This baby is coming, isn’t it?!?” I smiled and said I still was not sure. But he was.

When I headed into bed, I decided to call Ellen and give her a heads up. I also emailed my doula who was still in California for her Hypnobabies training. I slept very deeply, listening to the Deepening track, alternated with other ones, like Fear Clearning and Special Place. Using my lightswitch and peace cues all day made it easy to sleep through this early part of birth.

I alternated between the birth ball and sleeping in bed. Hal feverishly worked on his paper. Around 10 or 11 p.m. I decided we should call Ellen. I was afraid of having the baby too fast and my waves were becoming much more intense. I made Hal go to bed in case I needed him later in the night, I did not want him up all night working on his paper and without energy to support me. When Ellen arrived at 12:45 a.m. she offered to check me, but I declined. I had not lost much mucous plus and was worried that meant I was not dilating. She assured me that many women have babies without ever seeing their plug, which made me feel better. I decided to go back to sleep after a snack and a tour of our house. She offered me something to help me sleep, but I did not want to be groggy if the baby was born in the middle of the night. Ellen slept on our couch and I alternated between sleep, birth ball and eating chicken soup on the toilet. All the while, I was listening to my Hypnobabies CDs and using my finger drop to stay totally comfortable through each pressure wave.

At 6:45 a.m. I asked Ellen to check me, as my pressure waves were still not lasting over a minute consistently and we knew we needed them to grow in intensity to bring the baby. At first, she thought I was not dilated at all, but quickly realized that what she thought was the other side of my closed cervix was really my extremely bulgy bag of water hanging out of a very stretchy 5 cm dilated cervix.

The girls got up as usual at 8:30 a.m. and were very excited to know that the baby was probably coming today. Hal made us all breakfast and I ended up sleeping until 9 a.m. Love that Hypnobabies!

Ellen thought that we should take a walk, so Hal and I went around a nearby street with a nice big uphill. We walked and talked. It was such a lovely day. Whenever I had a wave, I would lean on Hal and he would tell me to “relax” and “let go”. I started feeling double-peaking waves and I think I may have entered transformation at this point. But it did not matter. I trusted totally in Hal’s support and with each wave, I would imagine myself floating on a wave, in my special place. The water was my anesthesia and as the wave peaked in my uterus, I would envision the wave peaking and carrying me to shore. This visualization along with Hal’s voice giving me cues was so powerful that the sensations literally faded away and became exquisitely intense rather than uncomfortable.

We came home and I napped again, listening to Hypnobabies CDs. The waves were feeling much more intense and it was harder to find comfortable positions to rest in. I was really just listening, deeply relaxed and getting up to use the toilet in between nearly every one. I was still worried that I was not losing much mucous plug and concerned that the baby was still in the left occiput transverse and was getting stuck on my pelvis. I was feeling each pressure wave, first in my abdomen, then again radiating through my pelvis into my birth canal. It was more intense than I remember feeling during either of my previous births.

At 11 a.m. we decided to go for another walk, even though my waves were extremely intense. They were nearly constant, only 30-60 seconds rest and lasting well over a minute and a half. It took us at least an hour and a half, maybe longer to walk around the same street that it usually took us 10 minutes to go around. People stopped us occasionally to ask if our baby was coming. I would take a few small steps (all I could manage at this time) and I would have another wave while leaning on my husband and having him give me verbal cues for anesthesia.

We got home and I decided that after that walk, I deserved to finally get into the birth pool. It felt heavenly. I leaned into the side, listening to Easy First Stage and holding on to the handles. The girls brought me a posy of wildflowers and I looked at it. They poured warm water on my low back, which helped me focus. I talked to you, our baby, telling you that I was ready for you to be born.

After an hour, I got out to use the toilet and asked Ellen to check me again. I was 8-9 cm, but the baby was still high because of my incredibly resiliant, bulgy bag of water. She declined to rupture it, due to the risk of cord prolapse, but encouraged me to do it myself. But I just was not able to get the power I needed with each wave to push yet. And I was starting to feel a little grumpy and impatient.

Ellen asked me to get out of the tub and do squats or walk our stairs. The squats did not feel like they did much. But the stairs... oh my... walking the stairs was perhaps the single most intense experience so far. I did it once and began to cry for Hal, my rock who kept me in hypnosis and helped me focus on maintaining my anesthesia. He did two more rounds with me as I cried and swore like a sailor. Ellen took the girls into their bedrooms to explain what I was doing and that I was okay. They are so sensitive to my feelings and I did not want them to feel scared. After the third time, I refused to go further and decided to sit on the toilet.

I began to have a pressure wave and in that moment, I decided that I was going to push the heck out of it, whether I felt like it or not... I did not care. I let out the loudest sound Hal has ever heard me make. A roar, while I pushed as hard as I could and broke my bag of water. There was so much fluid that it splashed out of the toilet and all over the bathroom.

Upon the bag breaking, I immediately felt you move through my cervix into my birth canal. Ellen came running with Chux pads, intending me to birth in the bathroom. Hal knew I would be sad if I did not make it to the pool. He looked me in the eyes as asked, “Are you ready? We are going to walk to the pool. It isn’t far.” I did not think I would make it, but I did. It was the hardest thing I had ever done. Later, Hal told me that he had planned to carry me down the hall to the pool, if I had refused to walk.

Once in the pool, I freaked out because the urge to push was so intense, but Ellen simply reminded me to reach down and feel your head to center myself. I did that and instantly, instinctively, I remembered to push between waves and said “Peace” to myself as I eased your head out. I called out for help as I felt your shoulders emerge, one at a time and then your body as I knelt in the pool. I sat back, brought you up to my belly. You were blue at first, as waterborn babies are, but your heart rate was strong and you were quietly alert, looking at me, your dad and your sisters, who were present for the whole thing.

I reached down to check and found you were a girl! Madeline was crying in joy and I started crying, mostly because I was happy to finally be finished.

We got out of the tub and snuggled together on the bed. It was so amazing to go from having a baby to resting in my own bed at home. It felt so right and wonderful. You recovered from birth quickly, pinking up with the help of a little oxygen and massage and you started nursing immediately. Your sisters will never forget watching their baby sister enter the world. I feel so lucky that we all were able to have this experience together as a family. Your dad’s support created a level of trust between us that will never go away.

Initially, I felt like I had really let go of my hypnosis towards the end. That I should have worked harder to stay comfortable... then I realized that there was no way that I could have spent over three hours (or more, who knows!) at 8-9 cm with a bulgy bag of fluid in transformation if I had not been using my hypnosis. The intensity that I experienced was only matched by the power of my mind to stay in control and working towards the goal of giving birth. I also initially felt caught off guard by the length of time I was birthing because it was so much longer than Autumn’s birth. However, when doing the “Visualize Your Birth” script, I always imagined my birth starting at night, going through the morning and you being born in the late afternoon. This was exactly what happened! I just had not imagined the intensity of the experience. Having gone through it, with only my husband’s support, I feel stronger as a person, wife and mother.

Photo credit: Danielle of Tiny Toes Portraits

Enjoy more amazing birth stories and information here on the Hypnobabies blog:

http://www.Hypnobabiesblog.org

Tags: birth, birth stories, birth stories on demand, natural birth stories, home birth stories, home birth, water birth, water birth stories, birth stories with pictures, hypnobabies, Positive birth stories, 

Amy's Birth of Joseph

This birth story was used by permission from Amy's Awesome blog here:

It's All About Perspective! (Joseph's Birth Story)

I can't tell you how many times my mother has told me :

"It's all about perspective."

My dad reinforced this wisdom, teachers reiterated it, and even my friends and co-workers have laid it on me strong. . . but never did it really sink in. I often talk about perspective, and I do try to step into others' shoes in order to continue my "life exercise" in practicing compassion . . . but I'd never fully realized how influential perspective is until a few weeks ago, with the birth of our second child.

Hubs and I prepared for a natural, unmedicated childbirth. I was so totally enamored with the idea of going into labor spontaneously. . . I was looking forward to embracing the work of birthing our baby boy. . . and I was really looking forward to that special high that comes from a natural birth --- but my birth story didn't turn out quite the way I had planned.

There were some that thought I was a bit loony when I'd talk about how excited I was about being in labor and giving birth, but after my first birth experience, I was so ready to make this birth different. With Abbey, I was induced without a real reason why, and with no discussion of the risks involved. I was totally uneducated about my options, ignorant to the complications of an induction, and not empowered to fight my nurses when they told me I had to stay in bed. I wasn't an informed parent at that point (well, literally, I wasn't a parent yet at all) and that led to great fear. I ended up with an epidural that I didn't really need, and a pushing stage that lasted almost an hour because I was totally out of sync with what my body was doing, and could still feel pain, but didn't feel any urge to help my baby out into the world.

So, understandably, this time, my birth was going to be different. All throughout the pregnancy with Joseph, I was starry-eyed with anticipation for labor and delivery. I fantasized about it as I fell asleep at night - imagined laboring at home in the bath, walking, even baking with Abbey during early labor. . . going to the hospital only to push, and birthing unaided, in a dimly lit room, Hubs embracing me as our child came into the world (maybe even before the doctor got there. . .)

I read Ina May's Spiritual Midwifery, dozens of birth stories, and got all sorts of advice and information from ladies on the NUCB board on Babycenter. I sat on my birth ball. . . I squatted instead of bending. . . I practiced breathing and relaxation exercises, got plenty of exercise, and did everything I could to have a perfectly normal pregnancy so that I could have a perfectly normal delivery.

And then at 40 weeks, the fantasy was ruined. I literally teared up and started to weep when my doctor told me that I was suffering from PIH (Pregnancy Induced Hypertension) and strongly suggested scheduling an induction. I could tell that it was difficult for him to tell me this, as he knew that my plan was all natural and unmedicated from the very start, and he always supported me and all of my ideas and questions. We had just hurdled my positive result for Group B Strep two weeks prior (there were also a few tears at that appointment because I really really wanted to avoid needing an IV), when he assured me that though I would have to have IV medication for the antibiotic treatment, the nurses would use a saline lock to allow me to labor as I pleased between doses, so I wouldn't have to be attached by tubes to an IV tower.

But the PIH blew all of that out of the water. If I agreed to be induced, I would have an IV all the way through labor, and I knew that the pitocin induced contractions are stronger, longer, and harder on mom and especially on baby. . . so I'd need continuous fetal monitoring as well. I felt like all of my dreams of a natural birth and all of our preparation was just for nothing. . . my fears and anxieties about having another birth like my first raged through my head, and I felt so let down. I felt totally helpless as we discussed the pros and cons of the induction.

I knew as he explained everything that I would agree to it even if I kept him hostage in the exam room and fought his suggestions for hours and hours - because truly, I knew that the symptoms of the PIH (headaches, dizziness, stress and fatigue) would only get worse as I waited for natural labor, and that a labor under intense PIH symptoms (or full blown pre-eclampsia) would not only be dangerous for me, and probably not result in the natural delivery that I wanted to experience - - - but it would put Joseph in danger as well.

I was at 40 weeks, and after a cervical exam, my doc was assured that I would take to an induction very well (I was already 3-4 cm dilated, and beginning to efface). It wouldn't be like my first induction, he assured me, because I "wouldn't be starting at zero" and going straight into labor when my body wasn't ready. It was apparent that my body was getting ready for labor, but the unknown of how long Joseph would stay put was dangerous when combined with the circumstance of the escalating PIH. The pros of induction outweighed the cons, and I was starting to accept my fate.

I did ask if there was any alternative to using pitocin, but he explained that that was the way he was most comfortable inducing labor, and at that point, I was too tired from fighting the urge to just scream in frustration to really fight the circumstances any more. I didn't schedule the induction right away, but told them that I would call back to schedule. After discussing it with my mom, Hubs, and our friends who had agreed to care for Abbey while we were laboring at the hospital, I called back and reluctantly scheduled my induction.

I felt awful. I didn't get much sleep. I thought that it was the end of my dreams of experiencing a natural unmedicated delivery, and I felt like I was letting Joseph down by not being able to deliver him naturally. But the worst part of trying to accept the induction was that I felt especially let down by my body. I knew that I had a genetic predisposition for blood pressure issues, so I did everything possible to maintain a healthy weight gain, reduce my sodium intake, keep regular exercise, and stay as relaxed as possible in order to make sure my body would have a healthy pregnancy and labor and deliver naturally.

But even though I did everything I could, and prepared as much as I did, I thought. . .

. . . my body let me down. I got sick regardless.

I was so disappointed. I wanted so badly for there to be a fail safe - something, anything I could do to go into labor before the morning, or to reverse the hypertension. But of course, there was no option except to move forward.

My natural parenting friend and blogger buddy Dionna over at Code Name: Mama was super supportive when I let her know what was going on. I mentioned my circumstance in an email conversation we were having regarding the Carnival of Natural Parenting, and she not only offered her support and well wishes, but rallied the troops and (with my permission) got a discussion started on the NPN Facebook Page to get advice from other moms on succeeding with a natural delivery when a pitocin induction is necessary. Lots of moms told me that the best way to get through an induced labor naturally is to approach it with a peaceful perspective and to use imagery and breathing and movement to help my body make the un-natural contractions feel more natural and bearable. Some were adamant about not staying in one position, and every woman that posted told me NOT to give up on my body, my baby, or my desire to give my family the benefit of an unmedicated, peaceful birth.

So I didn't give up. I agreed to the induction, which in hind sight was a very good move by my doctors. But I maintained that I was definitely going to give birth naturally, without medication, and that I still would make my delivery an enjoyable experience, working through labor with my husband as support, bonding with this child through the challenge of bringing him through my body peacefully and as God intended - even though He found it necessary for there to be a kink in the plan.

During labor and delivery, I definitely learned what amazing power perspective holds - and I also experienced faith, trust, and pure, peaceful, exuberant joy in the deepest ways. I'm excited to share our birth story of Joseph with anyone and everyone who wants to read it. It was such an amazing experience. Not just a birth, but a journey of self-discovery, and a reaffirmation of my love for my husband, my children, and my God.

Because I was being induced, I entered the hospital somewhat tentatively. I was not happy about the induction, even though I knew there was sound medical concern for my health and a good reason for being induced. I was very unhappy about having to have continuous IVs, about being attached to a fetal monitor, and especially about losing the ability to labor at the house, in the comfort that being in my own home would give. I was afraid of the possibility that I would be pressured into medicinal pain relief, further endangering my little son as he made his entrance into the world. . . and I was already unhappy and on edge about the intense pitocin contractions that I knew he and I would face during the induction.

Nevertheless, we dropped Abbey off with a friend and drove to the hospital. When I was assigned a nurse for my labor, I explained to her that I was not happy about the pitocin induction, and that I had prepared for a non medicated natural birth. I asked her to please abstain from offering any medication for pain relief, but that I welcomed any and all suggestions for non medicinal relief. She was surprisingly very understanding and supportive. Looking back, I think that my success in birthing our son naturally (despite a painful un-natural pitocin induced labor) was due in great part to the supportive hospital environment I had. The nurses I had all the way through my labor and delivery were compassionate and supportive, offered respectful suggestions, and had many words of praise and support for my decisions and my dedication. It made me very comfortable and encouraged me throughout my experience.

Drip. . . Drip. . . Went the Pit


At 8:30, the nurses started my pitocin. A very slow drip. Labor started slowly - at first Hubs and I just talked and listened to the fetal monitor, talking about this and that. After a while, as I started to feel the contractions more, I got up and walked with Hubs around in a small loop through the birthing area. He and Jane (my nurse) were awesome about making me feel as if I didn't have an IV tower following me everywhere I went. They both took great care to let me know that moving around was encouraged - and they carefully trailed behind or beside me, making sure that the several hanging bags of pitocin and antibiotic didn't pull on my hand when I moved.

"I'm Gonna Smile The Whole Time"

While we were walking, my other OB, not attending births that day, walked through the unit. He said hello, and asked how everything was going. With a smile, I told him that I was happily preparing to meet my little man. "Glad to hear it! But I bet you won't be so smiley here in a couple of hours!" he joked. In the spirit of my determination to stay confident and calm, I wagered that I would be happy all the way through. "I'm going to smile the whole time." I told him, and we continued our walk.

Mourning my Intended Labor

My attending OB checked in on me at 10:30 ish, and broke my waters at 11:00. That's when things really started rolling along. I was really afraid of being induced, and at this point, I looked at my husband and told him, "I'm still really really sad about the induction. This isn't the way I wanted to birth" and when his response was "Well, it's a little late to worry now. Little Joseph is on his way" I knew that he was right. I was laboring and delivering - whether or not I was happy about the way it was happening.

That was when I grieved for my intended birth. All the daydreams of going into labor, the fantasy of walking by the water by our house through early labor, and baking with and nursing Abbey while I labored. . . no IV, and totally natural - I grieved for it all. And when I was done, I looked at my husband and I told him that I had accepted that my intended birth wasn't going to happen, but that I was still able to birth naturally even if I couldn't go into labor on my own. I told him I was going to need him to remind me to be strong, but once I released the grief I was feeling over things not going as I imagined, I knew that I could do it. It was ALL about perspective.

Let's Roll!

Things started to pick up pretty quickly as my pitocin was raised. But even with the painful contractions, I was able to labor and deliver unaided by drugs or medicinal intervention. The environment at this hospital was so conducive to keeping calm, even when the pitocin induced contractions started to get more intense. My nurse lowered the lights for me and kept the fetal monitor at a low volume at my request, so that I didn't have to remember that my baby was being monitored for what the pitocin might do to his poor little heart. She was respectful of my need for only non-medicinal pain relief, and brought me a birthing ball, suggesting I raise the bed up to rest my head and get some rest as I worked through the rolling contractions on the ball or off, however I felt comfortable. She didn't bother me with interruptions, changed my IV almost silently, but always got my consent either with a physical touch exchange or a gentle voice. I was really able to keep focused on relaxing my body and allowing the waves of work to flow through me, hastening my baby into the birth canal. The only reminders of my induction and all the additional medical interventions that came with it were the physical IV and fetal monitoring belt.

Pain Relief and Working Through


I listened to Pandora radio through earbuds. . . relaxing music - mostly "spa radio" - and for a while I rocked out to a little Jars of Clay and Casting Crowns when I felt like I needed an energy boost. A lot of the music selections included water sounds, and I used that imagery to guide my focus. When a contraction would start, I would resolve to breathe through, and would listen to the gentle swish and throb of the notes and nature sounds coming through my earbuds, imagining the contraction not as a squeezing pain, but as a wave flowing through my body, gradually moving my little boy closer to meeting me. I spent the majority of time with my eyes closed, moving my head from side to side while resting it on the bed, swaying my hips on the birthing ball, and thinking of the joy I felt in the work my body was doing. How amazing that my body was working with my baby boy to bring him out into the world - I was thanking God the entire time for the chance to experience and really be present in the work of birth. Before I knew it, my contractions were starting to reach far into my back and the rear of my pelvis, as Joseph descended further and further.

This is Getting Really Serious!


I stayed on the ball for a little while longer at that point, but as the labor got really intense, I needed to be more upright - and then subsequently, I wanted to lay down on my side. I ended up switching back and forth between a semi-sitting position (kind of like a reclined squat) on the bed during contractions and an elongated fetal position on my right side in between. The contractions got stronger and as they rolled through, I started to really feel pain. Again, acceptance was the key for me. I acknowledged that the pain I felt was necessary and useful. I found myself using words like "serious" and "strong" to describe my pain - and I realized that using that language to personify the waves of labor as work instead of torture really helped me stay focused and not get lost in fear. I very pragmatically knew that there was an end to this hard work, and that every minute that I labored was one minute closer to that end - the birth! How joyfully my heart looked forward to that which my pragmatic mind focused. Soon, my baby would be through my body, on my chest, in my arms, and on my breast. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I was happy to be in labor, and for the most part, even through pain, I enjoyed it! I didn't even say "this hurts" until I was transitioning. . .

Enduring Pain for a Joyful Purpose

. . . And transition, I did. Hubs reminded me to breathe and stay calm. He also told me how well I was doing, how proud of me he was, and how happy he was that our boy was coming. Our nurse also commended me on how well I was taking labor pains. But then the contractions started coming so frequently and so strong that I couldn't rest in between - there was barely any time to even verbally acknowledge that the wave had passed - much less change positions. I told Jed, "This is getting really serious! Oh, God, this is really SERIOUS!!!!" At the peak of these contractions, there was so much intensity that the pain had me squirming. I was literally writhing in pain. I dreaded that feeling, and didn't feel like I could take it anymore. I would grab Hubs' hand and squeeze the life out of it as I tried to keep my body from writhing. I could literally feel Joseph's body traveling down through my pelvis, pushing hard against my insides. As I write this, I remember the pain, and again, though it seems like it would have been awful. . . . . it wasn't awful. It was very painful, but I was so joyful! I was in pain, but I smiled and welcomed the pain, because relaxed and supported by my husband, I knew that it was pain for a purpose - and that the product of that purpose would be our beautiful son! The fact that I was progressing was key. If my labor had stalled. . . I don't know how well I would have done. But Joseph kept pushing right on through me!

Delivery

I gripped the sides of the propped up bed, hovering my hips, somehow hoping that being slightly elevated would assist the labor and make the pain subside - or at least not last so long. This was serious pain. I looked at Hubs and told him I didn't think I could take it - and that's when we knew that birth was coming very soon: I was definitely transitioning. Another contraction burned through my abdomen, and then another, and another. No break. Again, I said "I don't know . . . " but I didn't get to "if I can take it" because all of a sudden, I felt an intense relief as my abdomen begged me to bear down.

I called out "I have to push! I can't wait! I have to push!" and within seconds, my doctor and his attending nurses were in the room, ready to help deliver. Seven minutes later, at 2:41 pm, our beautiful son Joseph was born, kicking like a little frog, and resting on my chest. I can't write much about pushing or the "ring of fire" that many women mention, as I don't really recall anything but the immense relief that came from bearing down to give birth. I did feel a burning sensation, but I believe that was when I tore my perineum as I delivered. For me, transitioning through the most intense pitocin contractions was the worst part of the delivery, pain wise. Actually pushing and birthing my eight-pounder was a relief and quite enjoyable (as births go). I was so happy, feeling his little head, full of hair, in my hands as I pushed him out - that the doctor had to remind me to push once more to get his body out! We all had a good laugh about that afterward.

The Whole Room Buzzed with Joy

All in all, I had a wonderful delivery, despite the fact that I had to be induced. I was so happy in my decision to go unmedicated and deliver naturally - the experience of feeling labor and knowing that our son was coming when I had the urge to push was so amazing - and I wouldn't trade it for anything! Besides . . . it's true what they say - I experienced my "natural birthing high" - it was incredible. The whole room just buzzed with joy when Joseph was born. It was amazing, and I'm so happy that it went the way it did!

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Tags: birth,birth stories on demand, birth stories, positive birth stories, induction, hypertension, natural birth, empowering birth with pitocin, pitocin, group b strep, toddler in tow 

Megan's Birth of Preston

Megan's Birth of Preston

My 3^rd baby’s due date was September 15 2006. We decided to induce 1 day early in the hopes that he would be born on my brother’s birthday (Sept 14).

My husband and I headed to the hospital just after midnight on September 14. After getting settled they started me on Pitocin and I went to sleep for a few hours. In the early afternoon the Pitocin had been increased a lot and the contractions were crazy intense!  I had a great nursing staff who didn’t argue with me when I decided to labor in the whirlpool tub for a few hours. This was amazing and really helped to alleviate the labor pains.

At about 3pm the nurse came in to check on my progress (I was dilated to 5cm) and while she was examining me my water broke…all over her. It was like a waterfall gushing everywhere. Every time I laughed over the next 2 hours more came out.

I was at 5 cm again when they checked me at 5pm and then at 7pm. No change. I was getting frustrated and my contractions were so painful! I’m so grateful for my Bradley classes and for my wonderful husband for being such an amazing support. I was in a ton of pain, but I knew I could get through them because I had been taught, I was being supported, and I was feeling completely empowered!

Finally around 730pm my doctor came in and said that since I was still at 5cm he either wanted to put an internal monitor on the baby so they could measure the contractions better, or give me an epidural so my body could relax, or do a c-section since I was “failing to progress”.

I flipped out, told him I didn’t want any of those things and politely as I could, told him to leave so I could think about it. As soon as he was gone I called to consult my sister who had gone to midwifery school—and who was watching my almost 4 yr old daughter while I was in labor. After a lot of crying and discussion she said that if I have to do something, I should choose the least of the 3 “evils” and hope that something changes soon.

I was crying pretty hysterically when I got off the phone and having a hard time getting through the contractions and realized that I was in transition.  I called the nurse back in at 8pm because I was really feeling the need to push and my contractions were only feeling better when I pushed.  She told me that I was at 10cm, fully effaced and ready to have the baby! Gee, really?

I couldn’t help it and kept pushing as they were setting up the room. I pushed my son out a bit too fast (10 min) and my sweet new baby was born with some skid marks on his head. I had a tiny skid mark, but no tears. (I knew there was no way in hell they would ever be allowed to give me an episiotomy.)

My doctor delayed cutting the cord for me so my son could get all of that extra blood. He nursed right away and was a perfect little boy. He was born at 8:22pm. He weighed 8lb 14oz and was 21” long. His head was a huge 38cm. Owie!

The next day we took our perfect intact son home and he has been an ideal addition to our little family. 

Tags: pitocin,induction, Bradley, Bradley method, birth, birth stories, birth stories on demand, natural birth, natural hospital birth, positive birth stories

Anne's Birth of Maris

Anne

There are so many things I want to write about when it comes to my pregnancy and birth. I think a lot of these things are keeping me from finishing my birth story. I created a document for it the night Maris was born, and I’ve been picking away at it for the past almost 6 weeks, but it just doesn’t flow quite right - just yet.

 

The one thing I wanted to share is that I began this journey with very few expectations. I expected to have a much more positive experience and I expected to have excellent midwifery care. Those were probably the best expectations I could have had going into labor. 

 

It will surprise many in my circle, but I have no real regrets or hard feelings about how things turned out. Because I allowed myself to have no expectations for labor and birth - I was able to go with the flow and course of events. Had I created expectations for my birth I would probably be an emotional mess over how things actually turned out. I had hopes and aspirations. I hoped for a home, water birth. I hoped for a smooth and peaceful labor journey. But more than anything I desired a healthy baby and to be healthy myself.

 

It’s been a long journey. It started with an elective c-section for my daughter’s birth, continued with a repeat c-section for my son’s birth and ended with a vaginal birth after two c-sections. We planned a home, waterbirth. But anyone who is a parent can tell you that planning things can be dangerous! Life rarely goes as planned and God’s design for my life is often different from what I think needs to happen. 

 

In the end I couldn’t be happier with the end result. It just took a while to get there!

 

I can’t remember what woke me up Wednesday morning, it may have been my cat Azzie. She usually sleeps with me, but as my pregnancy progressed I was less tolerant of her attempts to cuddle with me at night. She would usually get the hint, but that morning she was insistent on laying right next to me. I was laying on my side when I felt an odd sensation - it wasn’t a pop, more like a tiny gush. I reached down and felt a little bit of moisture, but dismissed it due to the increasing juiciness one experiences in the later stages of pregnancy. However, about 5 minutes later I had that weird feeling again and decided to get up and go to the bathroom and see what was up. I slid towards the end of the bed and stood up and felt the “pop” as my water broke. Stepping over the puddle soaking into my carpet - I made it to the toilet and sat down. My pajama pants were soaked, but it was clear and I was thankful for that.

 

I called to Michael to bring me a towel. He was in a pretty deep sleep and it took a minute or two for it to register with him why I needed the towel. I found a pad and put on the fresh underwear and pants Mike brought me and climbed back into bed. I had paged my midwife when I was in the bathroom, along with my doula and chiropractor. 

 

Laying there, I experienced a range of emotions. I was excited but also in disbelief that this really was it. I was a tiny bit scared because I knew there was no turning back, as well. Mike, on the other hand, was riding the adrenaline wave. He got up and started setting things up. He blew up the birth tub, put down the padding and plastic sheeting. He created a “splash zone” where he taped plastic up the wall. Christy and Larissa gave him a hard time about that one! 

 

After talking with my midwife and the rest of my birth team, I decided to take a shower. I wanted to at least have nice hair in the pictures - LOL. I felt calm and peaceful, while my husband experienced the frantic craziness of emotions. I have to say that he accomplished much while he was riding that wave of adrenaline!

 

My contractions were coming every 5-7 minutes and lasting about 60 seconds each time. I embraced each one as it came and thought only positive thoughts. While I was in the shower they seemed to pick up a bit and I enjoyed the feeling of the water pounding on my lower back. 

 

Christy arrived while I was in the shower and Mike seemed much more relaxed after she was in the house. Larissa came in next, followed by Angela. The atmosphere was joyful and excited. I rushed around the house getting the kids up, fed, dressed and ready to go to their school activities. I was thankful it was Wednesday and not only did Wyatt have preschool, but Maddie had her Classical Conversations class until noon. This gave me some much needed quiet time. 

 

While I was in the shower Mike had blown up the birthing tub and put the plastic down underneath it. I laughed when I saw his splash zone - he taped the plastic sheeting midway up the walls. There were lots of laughs about just how water would splash up that high during labor or birth! 

 

As I was running around taking care of last minute details - my contractions all but stopped. It was almost like I put them on hold. After the kids got off to school and we all enjoyed breakfast (scrambled eggs with spinach and salsa and cinnamon rolls) - we settled in to wait. I remember that Christy and Larissa were knitting up a storm, trying to finish up their baby projects. Larissa was making a beautiful cotton, rainbow blanket for the baby and Christy was working on a pair of baby leg warmers. 

 

 

The conversation was light and comical. If anything we were going to laugh ourselves to a baby - that was certain. Every so often I would have a nice, strong contraction but they just weren’t coming with a force and rhythm that I knew was needed - plus I was on the clock.

 

Sometime before lunch I talked to Vicki again and she told me that she’d spoken to Dr. Maher and he was willing to give me 18 hours to get labor started and at that point he preferred me to come into the hospital to start IV antibiotics. I remember counting hours and thinking I had until about 11 p.m. before we’d have to transfer...

 

The day continued and after a rather hot walk that didn’t do much to stir up contractions - we piled on my bed and discussed what the do with the rest of the day. About this time my friend Rebecca stopped by and we decided that we’d all go to lunch at the Thai restaurant. We sent Mike off to drop the dog at my parents’ house and to go to the gym  - he gave me some ridiculous order of what he wanted. It was some custom dish that included veggies, chicken, pork, eggs and pad thai sauce. I told him that Angel (the owner) wasn’t the type to do custom orders. I showed her his requested list and she flat out refused to add the pad thai sauce or eggs to the dish. I had a good laugh about that. 

 

Angela, Larissa, Rebecca, Christy and I had a nice lunch - with nary a contraction. After Becca dropped me off at home, Larissa and Christy took their time coming back - trying to give Mike and I some time to ourselves. But I was antsy and eager to find something to occupy my time and since my water was broken, sex was out of the question. (LOL). Instead I re-booked my hair cut appointment (I cancelled it earlier in the morning when I still thought labor was eminent.) At the very least my hair was going to look good!

 

I was really missing my kids by this point and decided that after my hair cut was over Mike and I would go pick Maddie up from my parents and bring her back to the house. I wanted Wyatt, too - but he was so needy that I knew it would end up making me crazy. 

 

My friend Liz came by to bring us dinner - a yummy roast she slow cooked all day (that gave Mike HORRIBLE burps later on that evening). We decided to take a long walk and Liz and Maddie joined us for part of it. On the way there I found myself wanting to cuss out a man in a pickup truck who didn’t stop for us to cross the street. Then a woman backed out and moved her car onto the sidewalk where we were walking (and Maddie was riding her bike!). And finally some teenage girl who lives in my neighborhood and drives a huge redneck truck vroomed by and blew her TRAIN horn, nearly scaring Maddie off her bike and us out of our skin! 

 

As Larissa, Christy and I walked around the track at Plew Elementary my contractions started to pick up and once again I started to feel optimistic that maybe things were starting to progress. The sunset was beautiful as we walked and I remember feeling happy. We were expecting Vicki and Nora to come over by 7 p.m. so we started heading back to the house around 6 p.m. I also really had to pee! When we got back to the house I panicked because Mike wasn’t home and I thought he had locked us out  - but thankfully the door was open and I raced to the bathroom!

 

The kids were at Awanas from 6-8 p.m. and Vicki and Nora arrived about 7:15. I had decided to bake a cake - hoping that spending time in the kitchen would scare up some contractions - it always seemed to work in the past. The house smelled fabulous and I was enjoying the time with my friends - but I knew we were most likely heading to the hospital.

 

The mood was positive when they arrived - I did my assessment with Vicki and everything looked good - except the fact that my cervix was closed and I wasn’t contracting. I was thinking that we had a little bit of time before we had to head to Baptist. I decided to take a bath to try and relax as the tension was high in the house. 

My mom and sister had picked up the kids from AWANAs and my mom was going to run back to the house and pick up some clothes and return shortly to stay with the kids. I was thankful they had arrived from their new home in West Palm Beach - just hours before everything got really crazy.

 

No sooner had I turned off the water and stretched out in the tub than Vicki knocked on the door and told me we needed to get moving and get up there sooner. She’d already asked my mom to be back at the house within 30 minutes (a surprise to me). 

 

I think this was the most stressful part of the entire experience for me. I like smooth transitions and this transition was anything but smooth. All the preparation we’d done for our homebirth meant nothing at this point and I found myself having to quickly pack a bag for the hospital. I grabbed some pajamas, underwear, my contacts and glasses, a few outfits for the baby, my laptop and chargers and my favorite blanket. Looking back - there were several other things I wish I had packed, but I survived on the barest of creature comforts. Thankfully I’d just gotten my hair washed and cut so I didn’t have to worry about washing my hair (so it didn’t matter I had no shampoo/conditioner or even a hairbrush!). I also forgot to pack deodorant, slippers, lotion and any kind of bra. Thankfully Mike saved me the day we went home - but I’m getting ahead of myself!

 

As I raced around the house throwing things in my suitcase, I became super emotional. I wasn’t upset necessarily about having to go to the hospital - but I was upset at the lack of time to explain things to my children. Maddie and Wyatt had been shuffled from house to house during the day and now they were home and happy to have their Mimi - but upset that Mommy and Daddy were leaving.

 

Now I had talked to them throughout my pregnancy about our plans to have the baby at home, but also spent a lot of time discussing the fact that if something didn’t go right and I needed more help to have the baby that we’d have to go to the hospital. I felt that I’d spent a lot of time preparing them for whatever scenario. But none of that mattered at that point - they were distraught. 

 

Maddie was crying because she wouldn’t get to cut the cord. Wyatt was crying because he was overtired and didn’t want his mommy to leave. My mom was back and we were ready to go - I was crying, Maddie was crying, Wyatt was crying, Mike wasn’t crying but he wasn’t smiling either. 

 

We finally got out the front door and remembered something that we’d forgotten. Christy ran back to grab it and reported that the kids had already settled down. 

 

On the drive to the hospital, Mike and I talked about the course of the day and what was  to come. I sent a few text messages out (even though I’d been ordered to stay off my phone by Christy and Larissa - yeah right!). I didn’t update everyone - I wasn’t in the mood. I tried to process what was happening. I was frustrated that my body didn’t seem to be working right. I felt dysfunctional. 

 

We arrived at the hospital, meeting Vicki and Nora in the parking lot. Christy and Larissa were behind us on the interstate, but they got lost once they got into Pensacola. They ended up parking somewhere far away from the ER (where you had to enter at night) and walked around outside the hospital trying to find a way into the building! 

 

I will say that our transition into the hospital was incredibly smooth. They were expecting me and Dr. Maher had left his orders. We walked up to the nurses station and they told us which labor suite we were going into and so started my hospital birth experience. 

 

My nurse for the night was Ashton. She seemed young to me. She was relatively new to the L&D floor I believe. Despite her quiet nature, she was very sweet and a capable nurse. I remember that she numbed my vein for my IV and how nice that was! She checked me - My cervix was <1 cm, 80% effaced and -2 station (which Vicki said was generous). It was almost midnight.

 

She started the pitocin at 1, explaining that they’d turn it up once an hour. I asked her about taking something to help me sleep. I’d been up since 5 a.m. that morning and I was starting to lose steam. I knew I was facing an uphill battle and would need my energy. After considering my options I decided on an Ambien - hoping to get at least 4 hours of sleep. Vicki and Nora left to get some rest and told me to call if I needed them. 

 

Shortly after that I started to get sleepy and Christy and Larissa left the room to scope out a place to rest. 

 

Mike and I slept for a few hours and I remember waking up with some uncomfortable contractions. I was pretty disoriented at first - I knew I was in the hospital, but my concept of time was really off! For one, I didn’t realize that Larissa and Christy had hung around for a few hours before heading back home to Niceville. It was an hour drive - so they got home between 3 and 3:30 a.m. It was about 4 a.m. when I woke up from the contractions. I tried to breathe through a few - but felt very limited in my ability to move and change positions in the bed. Mike was snoring loudly and I knew he needed his rest in order to support me later so I tried to manage on my own. 

 

I think I first texted Christy and Larissa around 4:30 a.m. I heard back from Larissa right away. She was nursing Lucja and trying to get her settled. She told me she’d just gotten home and I felt bad about texting her! Christy was dead asleep and never returned my text. 

 

After much effort I was able to rouse Mike - but at first he didn’t do so well. I think it was the adrenaline of “this is really happening” mixed with lack of sleep - but he was physically sick for a while. I also think it was because his support team was no longer there and he really relaxed when they were present. Around 6 a.m. I called and woke Christy up - feeling horrible for her lack of sleep, but I really needed her to come back. 

 

At some point between the phone call to Christy and her arrival - my nurse came in and we changed over to the telemetry monitoring so I could move freely. This made a huge difference and Mike and I took to the halls - dragging my monstrous infusion contraption along the way. I walked, squatted, leaned over the nurses station, dangled from Mike’s neck - I tried to use all the positioning techniques I’d learned about. Mike was great - rubbing my back, dragging the IV pole thing, encouraging me every step of the way.

 

We went back to the room after a while (actually we were back and forth a lot so I could use the bathroom frequently). At this point I found the most comfort on my knees leaning over the end of the bed. We took the cushion from the fold-out bed that Mike slept on and I used that under my knees. I remember putting my headphones in and turning on my music at that point. Looking back I wish I would have listened to my music more during labor. There were two songs that really moved me during my pregnancy - both sung by Mindy Gledhill. “I will rest in you,” and “What heaven sees in you” are songs that literally bring me to my knees - they’re my prayers to God. As I listened to them, the tears were streaming and I felt myself give into my body just a little bit more. I lost myself in the music for quite a while and at some point I looked up and Christy was there. 

 

Melissa was my daytime nurse - she told me she had been a doula before ever going to nursing school and this brought me peace. 

 

Dr. Maher came in shortly after that and checked me. After 9 hours of pitocin my cervix was still closed! Not for long though. I’m thankful he didn’t tell me what he was going to do before hand, but the pain was intense. 

 

“You’re 4 cm now!” he proclaimed as I wiped away my tears and drew a ragged breath. 

 

He explained that there was scar tissue keeping my cervix closed and that after he broke through it I dilated to 4 cm easily. Everyone in the room cheered at the progress. Vicki called to check in and I updated her. She told me she had appointments during the day but would be by later in the day to check on me.

 

Dr. Maher stayed to talk with us for a few minutes. He explained that as long as I continued to progress at a reasonable rate he would continue to let me labor - barring any other complications like fever or fetal distress. I remember asking him if he would be ok with me getting in the shower since I knew that I probably wouldn’t be allowed in the tub since my water was broken and for so long. His reply was “You can do any of that nuts and berries stuff that Melissa is willing to do.” This made us all laugh!

 

“Oh and I refuse to deliver a baby in the shower,” he added.

 

He left for his office and the mood in my room was much more upbeat and hopeful.

 

At this point between the progress of dilation and turning up the pitocin some more - my contractions started to become more intense. 

I’m not completely sure what Mike and Christy were up to - I was obviously in laborland, but there were some funny pictures on my camera around this time. Something about Mike taking pictures and Christy making funny poses while she was doing counter pressure on my back during contractions. 

 

Details are a little fuzzy but at some point before the pictures the nurse Melissa put me in the low-Fowler’s position in the bed (sitting up with knees bent and feet touching). She told me she wanted me to hurt - because that meant the contractions were doing something. She was right - they hurt worse. At this point I wanted to be anywhere but in that bed!

 

After the required 10 minutes in the bed ( I swear it was much longer than that) - Melissa let me get up and move around. I probably could have walked some more, but the contractions were fairly intense and I wanted the privacy of my room. I spent a lot of time on my knees, leaning over the edge of the bed while Mike and Christy took turns rubbing my back. Unfortunately every time I leaned over, the fetal heart rate monitor would slip off and we’d lose the heart rate on the monitor. Usually the nurse would let it go for a while and then come back and readjust it. The baby was doing great though - she was moving around and had a strong heart rate. 

 

My nurse came back in to give me some great news - I could get in the tub. She actually  went and looked up their protocols and said that they allowed for women to use the tub after ruptured membranes! All I could think about was how much I wanted to be in the water, but first she made me sit in the bed again so she could get a consistent strip on the baby. (This is when my love/hate relationship for her really started). 

 

I fulfilled my duty to give her a continuous strip on the baby and after gathering all my cords and strings - we made our way into the bathroom where a glorious tub of hot water awaited me. It took me a while to get into the tub - but once I sat down I was in heaven.

 

Until Melissa told me I had to lean back in there. It made my contractions so intense. My tailbone hurt, my hips hurt - I had a horrible stitch in my ribs... She brought me a plastic stool to press my feet against since I was of “short stature.” I started to hate the bath tub at this point.

 

Once she left I changed positions - The only place that felt good was on my knees. Melissa came in once again and said I was going to have to get out of the tub and back into the bed. I was distraught. I understood their need to monitor me more closely, but it was starting to make it difficult for me to cope through contractions because the only positions that brought me relief were ones that caused the monitor to fail at its job. I remember asking her if she could use a handheld doppler to check her heartrate - even suggesting at one point that she just sit there and hold a doppler on me continuously if it meant I could stay in the tub on my knees.

 

She didn’t go for it.

 

At about 12:20 she checked me again - I was still at 4 cm, but 90% effaced and the baby was at -1. I was frustrated that I hadn’t dilated anymore, but everyone else seemed ecstatic that the baby was moving down - so I decided to be happy about that, too. I was still in the tub.

 

Unfortunately my moments in the tub were about to end - after some discussion about an intrauterine pressure catheter, which would confine me to the bed completely - I hit a mental and physical wall. I was tired, I was frustrated and honestly I was about ready to give up. I knew if I had the IUPC that I wouldn’t be able to get on my knees or move around and that my time would be limited because my pain tolerance was already going downhill each time they cranked up the pitocin.

 

I asked for an epidural. Actually what happened was I said if they were going to do an IUPC I would want an epidural. And then 5 minutes later I sent Mike to the nurses station to ask her to go ahead and order it for me. 

 

It wasn’t in my plans - I wanted a “natural” birth. However it also wasn’t in my plans that I have ruptured membranes for 30+ hours at this point, or that I have pitocin - hell I wasn’t even planning to be at the hospital!

 

However - it was a tool available and it was something I decided on myself. No one suggested it (although I’m sure they were thinking about it). 

 

(Did I mention how LONG it took me to get back in the bed? I kept having contraction on top of contraction and I so didn’t want to be in that bed!) - Sometime during my attempts to get back into the bed I mouthed “I HATE YOU” to my nurse’s back. Christy and Mike found this quite hilarious apparently as they laughed at my scowling.

 

After a bolus of IV fluids my savior (and what a hottie he was, too) walked into the room. Christy called him Dr. McHottie! He was rather nice on the eyes and good with his hands as he placed my epidural in under 5 minutes. He chatted with us for a few minutes as it was taking place - he was impressed at my attempt for a VBAC after 2 prior c-sections and wished me luck. I had a “zinger” down my right side - and he suggested I lay on my left side as much as possible because of this. By 1:30 p.m. I was finally feeling comfortable.

 

Once I was in less pain I was ordered to take a nap while my husband ran off with my doula to get something to eat (and find something else to stare at other than the crappy artwork on the walls - or something to that effect). I was also ordered to turn my phone off. 

 

I always have trouble listening....

 

Honestly all I wanted to do was call my mom and check on the kids. I checked with our nanny - who was driving home from college to take over with the kids that afternoon and I texted one or two friends who had sent me texts. “Yes I’m still alive, no baby yet.” Then I turned my phone off and tried to doze...

 

At 2:30 I was 6 cm and 0 station, making slow but steady progress.

 

About half an hour later Dr. Maher came in to check on me - he was happy with my progress and said he’d stop in again after clinic hours were over. At this time my midwife, Vicki, came back up to see how things were going as well.

 

4:30 p.m. - I was feeling lots of pressure and asked Melissa to check me again - 7 cm and 100% effaced. I was also getting very grumpy. I remember being irritated with my midwife (who I love dearly!)  - I didn’t want to be irritated with her - but I was.

 

Looking back I’m convinced that I was starting to transition at this point - because things started getting rather crazy at this point...  I was still having the weird stitch in my ribs on the left side and then I started feeling pain only on the left side, but it was right on top of my incision scar. Immediately I started having all these negative thoughts in my head. Was my uterus rupturing? Was I going to die, was the baby going to die? I didn’t share any of these thoughts - but they were there.

 

My nurse and Vicki both showed a lot of concern at this point (5:30 p.m.). We were all thinking the same thing - was it a sign of a rupture? The baby looked great on the monitor - but with each contraction the pain got worse. Melissa called Dr. Maher and they decided to turn the pitocin off (it was up to 14). Both the nurse and my midwife thought my epidural was functioning normally, but Mike and Christy decided to roll me to my left side and see if that helped. Mercifully it did! 

 

The pitocin was off and my contractions spaced out a bit - but I was still contracting regular. My body was working! This made me very happy :)

 

Around 6:10 p.m. Dr. Maher arrived and took a look.

 

“Well let’s see what you can do,” he said. 

 

“Excuse me? I’m ready to push?” was my approximate response. I was in shock! 

 

Things were happening so fast - people were moving around in a flurry and I distinctly remember shouting that I wanted Mike involved - he was sitting on the pull out bed looking a little bewildered. There was a quick change of positions and he took hold of one of my legs. 

 

I pushed through one contraction and there was a knock at the door. It was Angela. 

 

“Can she come in?” a nurse asked - as several of us shouted “YES!” It was actually funny. It was clearly - “get her in here now!”

 

Angela has this uncanny ability to show up at just the right moment. I can’t remember if Christy had texted her that it was time - but the fact she walked in at that exact moment was nothing short of a miracle. There was some scuffling around and Angela asked for permission to photograph the entire birth (typically this is against hospital policy - it’s emblazened on the wall!). Dr. Maher said he didn’t care and she started to document the process.

 

At this point Dr. Maher got up and said I had some work to do to get the baby down and that he was going to be close by and to call him when I was ready. 

 

I was determined - excited and running on full adrenaline. I could feel NOTHING as far as my legs and bottom were concerned - although I could definitely feel the pressure of the baby coming through my pelvis. I worked hard to push, that’s for sure. I was so worried about being ineffective at pushing because of the epidural that I tried extra hard.

 

It wasn’t long before Dr. Maher was called back in - maybe 10-15 minutes. There was so much excitement in that room. Vicki coached me in my pushing - which was wonderful. She was so encouraging and positive - I’m so thankful that she was there with me even though it was not at home. 

 

Time seemed to stop for a few minutes - no one could get the baby’s heart rate. It was definitely scary. I could feel her moving so I knew she was fine - but Dr. Maher was so not ok with it. It was an electrical problem. They tried two fetal scalp monitors and the leads for both of them didn’t work. Someone ran to another room and tried another cord and that one didn’t work either. The normal corded monitor didn’t work and I could see the concern on Dr. Maher’s face.

 

Then Vicki grabbed the telemetry monitor and just held it on my belly - I think the sweetest sound was the baby’s heart rate coming out of that speaker. I knew the whole time she was fine, but it was reassuring to say the least. 

 

Even though I couldn’t feel the progress I was making because of the epidural - I could see it in the mirror they positioned. Being able to see the progress with each push was huge for me. I know a lot of people don’t like to look - but I found it amazing. I watched as her head moved so close to crowning. 

 

This was the moment I became super emotional. There’s a picture Angela took of a single tear on my cheek - I was waiting for the next contraction and it was the moment I knew I was actually going to push her out. I remember Dr. Maher saying something about how my changes of a repeat c-section just went out the window because I was going to push this baby out. I started sobbing - from happiness. I was overcome with joy. 

 

I was empowered.

 

At 6:49, after just over 30 minutes of pushing - Maris Josephine Hinze was born and placed on my belly. I reached down to pull her up closer to my chest and we quickly realized that the cord was a bit short! 

 

The rest of the details are a blur at this point. I remember Mike cutting the cord (boy was he proud of himself!). I remember pulling her up for our first snuggles and how peaceful she was just laying there looking at me. The nurse for Maris was very accommodating with my wishes, but I did allow her to take her for a few minutes (maybe 5 or less) and then she was back on my chest. She latched on for the first time at 7:26 p.m. - like she was born to breastfeed. She nursed for an hour and 10 minutes. 

 

One thing that I remember clearly was that after my placenta arrived there was discussion about it being small and circumvallate (google it) - and that there was a small, partial abruption. I remain incredibly thankful that it didn't detach further and that God's hands were on Maris and I during the delivery.

 

Looking back on the past 10 months I feel so blessed. I had a pregnancy surrounded by support from a community of women who know birth. Having friends like Christy and Larissa (and Angela, Vicki, Shay and a long list of others -) who answered my questions, listened to my worries and fears and encouraged and empowered me as a woman and mother was priceless. I feel like I climbed the Mt. Everest of the birth world - in having a successful vaginal delivery after two c-sections.

 

I am forever filled with love and gratitude for the women who helped me reclaim that power of being a woman who is strong.

 

And I could not have accomplished this feat without my husband - who supported my desire to have our baby at home. In the face of adversity and disappointment, he remained my rock of support and encouragement (except for those few moments when he turned pale and had to excuse himself from direct views...). He refused to let me give up - which I was ready to do at a few points. I can honestly say that this experience has brought us closer together and given us a stronger marriage. He’s changed so much as a father and husband through this experience and once again I’m thankful that we’ve been able to share this experience together. 

 

So, was it the birth I wanted? Not exactly. But it was the birth I needed to have. 

 

And so Maris Josephine was born - in a way different from that of her siblings’ entrance into the world. She is a much loved baby - adored by her brother and sister and coddled by her parents. 

 

She will grow up knowing her birth story - and knowing the women who helped her come into this world.

 

Maris Josephine, October 27, 2011

Head: 13.5 inches

Chest 13 inches

APGARS 8/9 (I believe but didn’t get confirmed)

6lbs 15.7 oz

19.9 inches long

Born at Baptist Hospital in Pensacola, FL

Dr. James Maher, OB

Vicki Taylor, LM, CPM

 

I forgot to add it into my story, but a few hours after she was born I learned that I passed the IBCLC exam :) I was on such a high!

 Tags: membrane rupture, birth, birth stories, birth stories on demand, hospital birth, epidural, pitocin, positive birth stories, attempted natural birth stories, birth stories with pictures

“I loved it! I can’t wait to have another baby and experience it all again.” ~ What first-time mom says THAT?!

Used by permission from the Hypnobabies Blog:

http://www.Hypnobabiesblog.org

“I loved it! I can’t wait to have another baby and experience it all again.” ~ What first-time mom says THAT?!

It’s been 11 weeks today since my daughter was born and I really didn’t have time to sit down and write you all about my experience. It was amazing!

I was a 6 days pass my “guess date”, going bananas and running out of ideas how to get the baby out. I had a wonderful midwife and we were planning a water birth in a birthing center about 25 minutes away from where we live. My hubby was wonderful supporting my decision of having unmedicated birth and has been practicing Hypnobabies with me. We did a lot of Birth Partner sessions together and even that he wasn’t very much into it, being the skeptical man he is, he really worked hard to help me with the “relax” cue, which later on, turned out to be an amazing help.

Sunday, April 3rd I decided to take another walk with my father, but after about 20 minutes I felt strangely tired and wanted to go back home. I took a short nap and, later, cooked dinner. My husband was at work, but as usual I called him around 10pm (he works overnight) and told him that I’ve been feeling kind of strange, having pressure waves (but I’ve been having them for the past two weeks coming and going), but not really regular enough to time them. He wanted to come home right away, but I asked him not to, thinking it was another false alarm. Well, he called me 15 minutes later saying he is on the way home. Of course as soon as he got home, my PW were gone. I went to bed disappointed but had no problems falling asleep. I woke up around 2am on Monday morning not knowing exactly what was it that woke me up. I decided to use the bathroom and while I was sitting on the toilet The PW hit me. And I knew right away that this one was completely different from all the other ones I had before. I called Jayson and asked him to start timing them. I really didn’t start to listen to Hypnobabies, CD’s; I was able to use the Finger Drop Technique on my own. My PW were about 5-6 minutes apart.

Hubby called my midwife and gave her an update saying that we would call her again in another hour to let her know about our progress. I decided to take a shower while he was finishing packing our bags. The hot water felt pretty amazing on my back, but I felt like the PW were coming faster and lasted a little longer. Shower was, unfortunately, a distraction for my self-hypnosis, too. 15 min later I called Jayson back to the bathroom and asked him to time the PW again. They were 3-4 min apart.

He called my midwife, Christine, back and we were on the way to the birthing center. My best friend was following us in her car. She was supposed to film the birth for my mom who couldn’t be with us (my mom is fighting 2nd stage breast cancer and was going through chemotherapy at this time). In the car I had my IPod on and I listened to Hypnobabies Easy First Stage. Jayson told me later I was very quiet and I kept my eyes close. At one point I started humming. This was the first time during my birthing time that I went back to my special place to tell my daughter how much I loved her and how I cannot wait to meet her very soon. I also promised her I would do my best so she can have the most peaceful and loving experience entering this world.

It felt so natural to go into hypnosis and release anesthesia, maybe because I’ve been practicing for the past 4 months. When we got to the Birth Center it was after 3am and Christine was already there. She asked me if I wanted to be checked, and I said yes (that was the first time through the entire pregnancy she ever checked me). I was 6 centimeters dilated and I couldn’t believe it! She started filling up the tub for me while I was riding the PW on the birthing ball while listening to Deepening session. My husband was right behind me putting some pressure on my lower back. He also started to use the “relax” cue which was a phenomenal boost of anesthesia whenever he felt me getting distracted and anxious. My “non-believer” husband turned out to be my rock and the best tool Hypnobabies could ever give me.

When I look back at the birthing video I’m so amazed to see that the only noises coming out of my mouth was humming whenever I was climbing on the top of the PW. I was so calm with my eyes closed. Sometimes, for few minutes, my hubby joined me to listen to my IPod, to the Deepening session. I think this is the reason while he stayed so strong and so grounded during the birth of our first child.

During the breaks between PW I was able to drink some water, have something to eat, have a short conversation with my friend. It felt good to hear encouraging words from everybody. I got into the tub at 4am and decided not to use the IPod anymore and just relay on myself and the knowledge I’ve gained from Hypnobabies. Being in a warm water helped me even more to get deeper into hypnosis, since my special place, the one where I was always meeting Emma, my daughter, during sessions was surrounded by water.

Each PW felt like I was climbing a mountain. The hardest part was getting to the top of the wave, but as soon as I got there, I just rode the wave until I felt the relief. I was so focused on relaxing my uterine muscles and imagining opening my cervix and sending anesthesia down there that I did not even realize that it was time to push. The whole transition was pretty quick and not at all uncomfortable. I just felt a little nauseous and I wanted to push.

Christine said I was ready. I’ve pushed in the water for an hour and even that I was making a progress, it didn’t feel like it at all. I was getting tired. But on the other hand I was very much glad that I didn’t have anybody standing over me and counting down or telling me to push. I let my body to be in charge, and my midwife, my husband and my friend were there to give me their love and support I needed. After pushing for an hour, around 8am, Christine suggested I would change a position. I tried to get on my fours but I felt my back hurting really badly. So I’ve decided to stand up. My husband supported me holding me by my waist while I spread my legs and pushed. I felt my baby moved down and Christine called for another midwife to come in.

Again, looking back at the video, I see myself making a lot of grunting noises, but also being completely in control of my body and being able to follow Christine’s directions. She told me to slow down and she told me the head was out, I could feel her between my legs. Christine had enough time to say the she can see my baby’s face and that she is really cute when with a final push her shoulders came out and Emma Berniece was caught in mid air, born at 8:23 am.

My beautiful baby girl was 8 lbs 6 ounces and 19 inches long (which we found out 3 hours later). I sat down in the water holding her and crying. She was so beautiful. My perfect baby girl. Christine waited for the cord to stop pulsating and Jayson cut it. They helped me move into the bed and my daughter took to my breast right away. After the midwife checked me, she said I had no tear! After couple of hours I was able to shower and change. Then, they measured Emma and checked everything out. We were home, in our own bed 4 hours later.

This was the most unbelievable experience of my life. My first baby and the most amazing birth. When people asked if I felt any pain, I say no. With the knowledge and training from Hypnobabies, I was able to be in full control over my mind, while my body did all the work. I describe the PW as climbing a mountain. As soon as you get to the top, you know the hike down is much easier and then you will get to rest. And I kept reminding myself that every PW is bringing me closer to meeting my daughter.

I loved it! I can’t wait to have another baby and experience it all again. And I still cry every time I watch the video, when I see her coming out!

Thank you, Hypnobabies!

Enjoy more amazing birth stories and information here on the Hypnobabies blog:

http://www.Hypnobabiesblog.org

Tags: Birth, birth stories, hypnobabies, birth stories on demand, hypno babies, positive birth stories, birth center birth, midwife birth stories, natural birth, birth stories with pictures, pressure waves, guess date