I was 19 and had been in a relationship with my
sons SD for a year and a half. I had moved to where he lived and I had no
friends, no family of my own, it was only him and his family.
Well we had been kind of trying to get pregnant and one day when he had gone to work I just got
that sudden urge to go buy a test. Positive. I thought he would be excited since
we had custody of his son from a previous marriage and we both wanted another
one. I couldn't have been more wrong. I went up to his job on his lunch and
showed him the test, his exact words were "you could just take like 5 day after
pills and that would solve it" he was thinking that we weren't financially able
to provide for 2 children since he had just found out that he had to pay child
support on another child he had.
Well a few weeks went by and he finally started
warming up to the idea of having a baby around and he even took off work to go
to doctors appointments. We got the first ultrasound at 7 weeks and found out
that I had a due date of July 7th, 2011, he also went to my next ultrasound at
13 weeks. I thought everything was going great and that he was really excited. Wrong again. We broke up on January 24th because he said I was too emotional and he
couldn't handle it.
So I moved back to my home town and got a job as a cashier
at Walmart. I utilized the services that my town provides and got on Income
Based Housing. I went back to where I lived previously with my ex because I already had a
"gender" ultrasound scheduled. He showed up because he claimed that he wanted to
be supportive, he never went to another appointment. But that didn't matter
because I knew that no matter what, I would have my SON! :)
The rest of my pregnancy moved along pretty great. Nothing too dramatic happened. I took leave
from work 2 weeks into June because it was getting to stressful and I couldn't
stand on my feet for a full shift. On Friday, June 24th, my mom called me first
thing and said she wanted to go walking. I didn't see the point in it but hey,
what the heck? After that, I wanted to go shopping so we drove about an hour to
go to the nearest Old Navy and spent the rest of the day browsing for baby stuff
and visiting with my sister and her family.
Well when I got home I went to the bathroom because by this time I was going every 10 minutes. Lol. Well I walked into my bedroom and felt a gush down my leg and knew that this was it. I called
my mom and she thought I was kidding but when I started crying and telling her
how scared I was I heard the panic in her voice and she said she was on her way.
I called my best friend and told her to come straight over, that it was time. I
was rushing around packing my hospital bag, which I should have done way sooner
than 38 weeks. When I got to the hospital, the rushed me upstairs and when the
checked me they said that it wasn't my water that I had probably just lost
control of my bladder (look lady, I have been peeing my whole life and that was
NOT pee) but since I wasn't having consistent contractions, they sent me home.
Well I was having pretty strong contractions on Saturday morning but once again,
no progress. Sent home again. Saturday night, same thing, except this time his
head was very very low and I was thinned out, she said I would be back and
having a baby early Sunday morning. I was told to go home and eat something and
get some rest. My mom had been staying with me all weekend and I woke up about 2
in the morning on Sunday to go to the bathroom and screamed at my mom that it
was time and we needed to go NOW!
I just knew that this was it. Panic was setting in. What if I can't do this? What if I can't raise him alone? What if Iam a bad mom? What will I do if his SD shows up? I got to the hospital at 2:30
AM and I was dilated to 3 but my contractions were strong and consistent. I
really wasn't in pain. I was saying please and thank you to the nurses, I wasn't
yelling at anyone. By 3:30 I was dilated to a 5. By 4:30 I was dilated to 7
and decided to get my epidural. By the time the finished and checked me again,
about 5:30 I was a 10 and it was time to push. I was terrified. My epidural
hadn't even kicked in yet and I was thinking about how bad it would hurt.
I remember the doctor coming in and telling me that he could see my sons head and
that I was about to be a mom. But it didn't hurt at all actually. We talked
during pushes. I pushed a total of 30 minutes and my son, Ryder Thomas, arrived
in the world at 6:03 AM. Weighing in at 6 pounds, 4 ounces and 20 1/2 inches
long. He couldn't have been more perfect.
Now he is a healthy 7 month old who is always happy and smiling. All the doubts I had about being a single mom have been washed away and I wouldn't have it any other way!
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